Tag Archives: letters

Prince CalTech

There’s a kid in my class at school whose name is Harvmit, aka Harvard-MIT. Guess what his parents wanted his college options to be? Too bad he became a rebel, slacked off in school and has no hope of going to either place. Serves his parents right, I guess, but too bad for him.


Web searches for ‘Harvmit’ turn up (perhaps) another guy named Harvmit, who appears to be a teenager. So maybe there’s hope for a Harvmit after all.

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i dont no wat to thnik cuz im ded

I get e-mails asking for naming help all the time, and I’m usually obliging, but every now and then….well, see below.

I’m due my first kid aug 13. i am thinkin of names. i like unseual names and differnt spellings of names.

for girls dh and i like:

tallulah lilac
meleah lynn
jayden haven
madison macenyzie
ashlynn charlize
tiffany clea
alisha beyonce
solange kesleigh
gracelyn jordyn

for boys dh and i like:
kendal jae
dayne killigan
kylar reese
fynn tyler
wayne jaymes
brooklyn romeo
jaysen elijah

can u please give opinions on the names? thx in advance


I’m still not sure if she didn’t read the site, couldn’t read the site, or is screwing with me.

If the latter, Bravo. You did an incredible job of impersonating an under-educated tryndee namer who I assume every awful thing I possible can about them, up to and including caring about Kardashians, collecting cat figurines, and giving Sarah Palin money. You cut me off on the freeway, let your dog crap in my yard, and get in the express lane with 15 items, then pay with a check. You forward emails about Nordstrom’s recipes, proof of angels, and sparkly Tweety Bird gifs. You invented laugh tracks. Your favorite movie is Transformers 2. You hold your purse tighter when you see black people. Your car alarm goes off at 4 am every day. You ate three slices of pizza before making sure everyone else had had one. You’re why the bus smells like pee.

I hate you.

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Not. One. Period. There.

my little sisters name is Mckenna, and to answer your question we got it from the nurse after she was born, she was trying to pronouce mc-caun-a like jacauna the tomato and beef dish, and Mckenna was said instead, i love the name and it is soo much better than what my mother was going to name her Truana, eww, well anyways the name fits her very well and is also very unique, my name is Tiffany and i cant sand it when i am in the mall and someone is yelling my name but isnt speaking to me, McKenna will never have that problem.

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It’s Catchier Than ‘Now Comes the Plaintiff…’

1. Galaxy Craze. She’s an actress and writer and went to high school with Uma Thurman. I think Galaxy’s middle name is “Isa,” but I am not sure.

2. Along Came Seth Jones Bullock. Yes, read it again. That’s his name. Along Came Seth Jones Bullock.

3. William Speed Weed.

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With His Sidekick, SuperPlow

Ok, I’m 9 mos. pregnant with my second child and I really needed this site today! Too funny, I have e-mailed all of my pregnant girlfriends and apologized if any of their intended names are mentioned.

I know of only one really bad name. The poor guy is now 30, he is still alive. Farmer Marvel. It’s a family name, god help him. He’s always gone by Mickey, I didn’t even know his real name until we graduated from high school.


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Carrion My Wayward Son

I used to do placement for newly trained car salespersons, and the one guy I ran into with the oddest name was Carrion.

I can only hope that mothers in the future will pull out a DICTIONARY and look up the child’s name before she names him so she can be sure she’s not naming her child after rotting dead animals.


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Ringo Does Dallas

A few years back when I was working as a paralegal, we had a client, I forget his name now, but he was fighting a child custody case, so his three children’s names were featured prominently at the top of all the court documents, which is why I remember theirs so well.

Their names were Harley Jonn, Stone (something fairly silly as a middle name), and Jazzmyn Starr (!)

Seriously. J-a-z-z-m-y-n S-t-a-r-r. I mean, the normal spelling would be bad enough, in a “I named my kid after a Disney character” kind of way, but two “z”‘s, the dreaded “y” and the double “r”‘s?

She was the youngest child, and I can only assume she was born *after* her father had the motorcycle accident while *not* wearing his helmet…

I forsee a wonderful career in the adult film industry for young Jazzmyn… Or possibly something


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Look Away! Look Away!

Had to share this one with you – I went to high school in the late 80s with a kid named Delando Cotton. I have always wondered just what would possess African-American parents to name their son Delando Cotton. So I came up with a couple of theories:

(1) His parents moved here to the Northwest from the South before he was born. In a fit of home-sickness, they gave their newborn son a name that calls to mind their Southern roots, but didn’t realize until too late that it *also* calls to mind the first line of the Confederate battle hymn,

(2) His parents just have a really warped sense of humor …

He was a year ahead of me in school, and I didn’t know him well enough to ask how or why his folks gave him the name they did. I’ll probably always wonder…

– S.

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Chasing Tweety Bird on a Scooter

DALLAS (AP) — A convenience store owner in one of Dallas’ poorest neighborhoods was amazed when she started seeing children from the elementary school across the street buying candy and chips with $100 bills. …

It turned out that a youngster had apparently found tens of thousands of dollars in suspected drug money and was handing it out to others.

Soon, though, some men came looking for the money, spreading fear through the South Dallas neighborhood. …

On Thursday night, a man was arrested and accused of abducting and beating a 12-year-old boy who had some of the money. The boy was later returned home.

Before he was jailed on $5 million bail, the suspect, 23-year-old Sylvespa Adams, told KDFW-TV that he never threatened anyone and that the money had been stolen from him. He disputed it was drug money, as police suspect.

“I’m not no kidnapper,” he said. “I work.”

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Humid! Foggy! Dinner Time!

Years ago, a neighbor of mine had several children with what I considered absurd names (Breezy Spring, Misty Autumn and some other inane name which included Stormy). When I asked the woman where she got the names, she proudly announced that she took them from the weather on the day the child was born. I irreverently called them Wheezy, Breezy and Louise-y, but it gave me hours of free entertainment coming up with names for this woman’s subsequent children. Dismal December, Tsunami Sunshine, Sleety Haze, Rainy Daze, Hoar Frost, Typhoon …

An offshoot of this hypothetical baby-naming was that my children and I would take random syllables and write them on pieces of paper. We would then pull several and string them together to form endlessly amusing stupid
names. Amazingly enough, we have since heard many of these improbable combinations used as actual names!

Other obnoxious names I have encountered:
Ralphann (girl)
Abundance Lee (girl)
Blue Sky (boy)
Hug (boy)
Sammi (boy)
Persephone (girl)


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