Category: Bad Baby Names

Many educators and school districts and states are suing, or plan to sue the federal government over the No Child Left Behind act. Among those at the vanguard, Coachella Valley, Calif. schools superintendent Foch Pensis. He goes by the nickname “Tut.”

Please don’t use any identifying info for me, but I know of a little girl around 5 yrs old running around Eaton, OH (near Dayton) named… Cherrybomb America (last name). Her father has literally gotten into physical fights defending the name.

“At 5:44 a.m., Sheena (last name) of the City of Poughkeepsie gave birth to the first baby of the year at Vassar Brothers Medical Center. Nevaeh Heavenlee (last name) weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces and measured 20 1/2 inches. The newborn’s father is Antoine (last name) of the City of Poughkeepsie.” (from the Poughkeepsie Journal, Poughkeepsie, NY)

Oh the pain… As someone who has grown up hating the utter lack of imagination that went into my naming, I suddenly feel so much better.

Thanks for letting me share!

-Jennifer

When my son was born January 2006 at Rush Presbytarian St. Lukes Hospital in Chicago, there were twins named Thunder and Lightning.

-G.

I noticed on your baby names site (which is hilarious, BTW) that you had the quote, ‘what do you think of Wren for a girl?’. My cousin and his girlfriend called their son Wren (he’s about 2 years old now). When my grandmother rang my mother to tell her about the new baby, apparently she was too embarrassed to tell her the name until prompted several times.

-C.

I’m a big fan of the television show Stargate: SG-1, which recently launched an equally good spinoff, Stargate: Atlantis. I happened to notice the name of one talented young actor on the new show: Rainbow Sun Francks.

I think Mr. Francks is very brave for embarking on a Hollywood career with that name…

Sincerely,
Kara

Straight from my daughter’s first grade class:

Cherighan
Tindall
Cheridan
Sumher
Coleman

-H.

I forgot about the girl who was the cashier at CompUSA here in Dallas. The name on her nametag was such a mix of letters it didn’t make any sense, but I distinctly remember there being a Q and Z and some Ys. It was something like Yzeqlyrta. I said, “Thats’ an interesting name…how do you pronounce it”. She told me how to pronounce and then told me her parents let her sister (about 3 at the time) name her when she was born. So that’s where all the Mydysyns are coming from!

Also, how long before the cutesie, unique spelling of Madison becomes “Medicine?”

-Anne

In grade school I knew a girl whose first name was Brandy. Her last name was Champagne.

-M.

Your site is hysterical! I always feel vaguely nauseous when I hear of yet another person saddling their child with Hunter or M’Kenzie or any other “trendy” name. But, you did ask for some submissions, so here are some names of people who really exist (all of these people I met in Texas):

Kismet Valerie: college friend. She told me that she spent her entire life telling people that her name was NOT Valerie Kismet.

Chivas: went to jr. high together. Yes, his parents did name him after the drink.

Dudley: the fourth GIRL in her family. She was a year behind me in medical school, tall & blonde, and loves her name. Her father (also a Dudley) said that the fourth child will be a Dudley whether or not it’s a boy (it wasn’t). Unusual for a boy, but practically unheard of for a girl. But she loved it and carried it well. More power to her!

Also, I have to comment on the Snopes Urban Legends baby names…most of them aren’t real. I did a two month OB/Gyn rotation in a county hospital and four months of pediatrics (regular, surgery, and psych), and never saw a “body part” name (even though my friend swears she saw twins “molly & femolly” — male and female). Tons of Michealas, Jadens, Hunters, and Destinys, though. Regardless, I did see these names:

Taqueria: lovely name for a girl pronouced “tah KIR e uh”, until mom said she named her for the “tock ur EE uh” resturant down the street (aka: taco stand in Spanish). A brief funny, but nothing serious.

Concepcion Bastard: obviously pronouced “con cep SI own bah STARD”. She was a mom in L&D, waiting to give birth to her 3rd or 4th child (in wedlock). However, we had quite a few patients and their visitors pitch a fit that we had a “bastard” label on her room, since it wasn’t polite to point out such indiscretions.

-S