Category: Bad Baby Names

Phinally Phree

I went to school with a girl who was, unfortunately, named LaPhreeka. I still wonder what her mother was smoking. She contacted me two years ago after she had turned 18 and legally changed her name. It was actually rather funny. She changed it to Phree and went on about how she was “Phree! Phree at last! Thank god almighty, she was Phree”. It’s not too big an improvement, but it’s better than having “freak” in your name, and it keeps her mother happy because it’s still close to her original name.

-W.

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Japanese Monster or Urinary Infection?

My kindergarten teacher was named Velveethra.

-P.

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OMG! Bubbe is kewl!

Your site made me conscious of another problem I’m having: what do you do when a genuine family name is suddenly hijacked by the masses and becomes trendy? I had my heart set on naming my baby girl after my grandmother (were she still alive, she would be 78) whose name happened to be–KAYLA. It’s actually a real name in Yiddish, meaning “crown of laurels”. What should I do now that my Nana’s name has been misappropriated by a pack of Yuppies and people think an 80-year-old name is trendy?

Thanks again for the laughs,

miki

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Someone Needs a Salve

Not a baby name, but I used to work for an insurance company here in Boston whose CFO was named Russell Boner – and he really did go by the nickname Rusty. Not someone I’d trust with my finances.

-J.

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Forum maintenance…..and we’re back!

Check out all the funky-ass new funk at http://www.bigbadbabynames.net/forum

Cosmetic stuff I’ll be updating over the next week or so, but the important thing right now is making sure the sucker works!

Thanks again for your patience, everybody!


And thank YOU, SuperChin! You’ve saved the day!

Media mention sightings!: The Minneapolis Star-Tribune and a Canadian parenting mag! Yesss…yesssss…our northern theater of battle is progressing nicely! Mwah ha ha!

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Paging Nipsey Russell

Just thought I’d share my family history of not-so-hot names! They really aren’t TOO bad when you consider that they were popular in their day. But, they are funny all the same.

My Grandmother was Ethyl Joyce. Her mother, Icea Belle, was one of six daughters – the Wilcox girls. We even have a rhyme that goes with their names!

Icea Belle, Brenda Spray,
Verna Dell, Vera Faye,
Lura Grace, and Cora Zell,
that is all that I can tell!

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The Story of O

I know a set of brothers named O’Ryan (nickname O), Aero, and Beau.

I also know a little girl named Heavenly.

My sister graduated high school with a boy called R.W., short for…you’ll never guess…Rodeo Wheeler!

My best friend’s ex-sister-in-law’s first child is Maria Peige. Like Paige, but…not.

-A

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The Gospel of Dick?

I went to school with 4 brothers, in order of birth: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Richard. I think the parents didn’t realize the naming trend until after the 3rd child.

A friends mother (now deceased) was born Ethel in the 1910s. When she was in her late teens she legally changed her name to Bertha – a very popular name at the time. Years and years later she remarried after the death of her first husband and became Bertha Sidebottom.

-L.

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Misty Martian Hop

One important issue to consider when naming your child is to consider how it goes with your family name. The parents of these children obviously put a lot of thought into their selections- which must have been difficult considering their severe crack addictions.

Soren Sorensen
Crystal Ruby
Misty Marsh

And my personal favorite- Thunder Storm.

Unfortunately, I am in some way related to three of them… And I went to school with the fourth. Yick.

-R

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Ease on Down

My {kid} goes to school with a girl named Wisdom Heaven.

Blech. I wonder if they call her “Wiz” for short?

-T.

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