Tag Archives: letters

I found your site through a link on the Livejournal Childfree community. As someone who was given such a name by my parents, I had to check it out. My name is, by the way, Bryonny. Yes, I was named after a poisonous herb used in Medieval times for purges! My parents’ excuse was that they didn’t know that at the time, and they wanted a name that was different from their very common names. After spending my elementary school years being called everything from Byrony (I’m a debauched poet!) to Brownie (and also a small fairy and/or Girl Scout!), I would have cheerfully committed murder to be named “Lisa”. I wonder if these parents realize that their children will hate them.

I work in the children’s area of a public library, and am constantly bombarded by poor name choices. But the absolute worst (and the reason I’m writing), was given to this poor little girl, who was all of one year old when I saw her. This child was named Princess. Not a nickname; this was her actual, on-the-birth-certificate name. My pity for this girl knows no bounds. She’ll either grow up to be a spoiled brat or a porn star. If not both.

Keep spreading the word about horrible baby names. It won’t change the parents’ minds, but at least it will give their victims a place to vent.

-Bryonny

My Aunt has nine children, ages 11 to 27. Her girls are named Jael, Oriannah, Shanna and Keziah (identical twins), Elsa, and Jessin.

Her sons are named Jason, Joshua and Justin…somehow they missed the boat!

I think their names are beautiful. Personally, I’m having my fifth baby and am thinking Liberty or Paisley if its a girl and Elijah Blue if its a boy…

-Rebecca
Proud mommy to:
Seth (who was almost named Sequoia if my husband hadnt furiously objected)
Jacob-Ian
Riley
Isabella Glyndora

When I first saw the name Orchid on your site, I thought it was a little incongruous for a girl, given the origin of the word:

From New Latin: Orchideae, family name, from Latin orchis, a kind of orchid, from Greek orkhis: testicle, or orchid (from the shape of its tubers). (dictionary.com)

testicle?

That might give your readers a laugh if you want to mention it.

Roger

I used to work in claims processing for a HMO, and one of the doctors contracted with us was named Harold Ballitch. (A call to his office confirmed the pronunciation as BAL-lich, but still…I bet he was called Harry as a kid…)

-Mark

This girl I used to work with named her daughter Aziah Rayne. Asia Rain is bad enough, but Aziah Rayne? Then she decided she didn’t really like the name, was considering changing the name, and took to simply calling the kid “the baby.” Poor kid!

I just discovered this appalling collection of naming horrors:

Plenty of the names are bad, but ‘Kynedy’ (a Mini Supreme Girl) really takes the biscuit. My surname’s Kennedy, and I can’t see it as a particularly attractive first name for any child, girl or boy, anyway – but when it’s mangled this horribly, it makes me want to hide.

As for Camden – Camden’s a district of London full of goth shops and places to buy Andean musical instruments and dodgy smoking paraphenalia. Is this the image these people *really* want to attach to their child?

The site seems to be some sort of photo or beauty contest, but, just to be honest, a lot of the pictures are rather poor; whoever posted the pictures got a lot of the sizing wrong, so kids look all warped or fisheyed; and I’m deeply disturbed by the titles “Precious” and “Supreme” as opposed to “First” and “Second” or “Winner” and “Runner-up.”

Is this a cult or something? Anyone know? That might explain Jazmin, Taylah, Shayleigh, and the galaxy of Reagans.

Brynjar gets a pass, since his name appears to be Icelandic and the kid needs all the help he can get – his mom is a compulsive snapshot contest junkie: http://www.littleladiesandgentlemen.homestead.com

A couple years ago I was living in South Carolina and I met a girl named Rana. She pronounced it ray-nah, like the Spanish word for queen (reina), but as any Spanish speaker knows, rana is Spanish for…frog.

-Elizabeth

Speaking of the various Destiny’s and how they are spelled, when I was having my little boy, there was a baby in the nursery with the name tag of Destanee.

* I was talking to an acquaintance the other day and she told me that while shopping, she overheard a mother talking to her daughter – apparently the child’s name was Medusa.

* You mention an entry for a Richard Head – in Australia, we have a politician called Richard Face.

Cheers

(the very boringly named) Robyn.

Here’s a couple of brilliant names I have come across in my travels:

I went to school with two girls called Harmony and Melody. Yes, they were sisters, and Harmony was the eldest.

In first-year chemistry pracs there was a charming young man by the name of Stirling Dick. Surely his parents could have checked the combo before signing the birth certificate?

-L

I – I can’t help it. Although I have recently become addicted to babynames.com, I must “out” one of my fellow members, who has named her children some of the most godawful names I’ve ever seen – and I’ve read your ENTIRE site.

For purposes of verification: her username is Aubbie1 (this in itself is wearymaking and weird. Because why? Because her real name is Audrey. And Aubbie is certainly the obvious nickname for Audrey…on the planet Ookiebabytalk) and I’ve attached a post from her. These are her Darling Daughters:

Odyssey Sky (odie)
Ma’kaye’lynn Opal (mo)

Really, Ma’kaye’lynn deserves some sort of award, don’t you think? Random arrangement of unrelated syllables which manages to take that most odious (uh, sorry, Odie) of current trends, giving girls names beginning with Mc, which means, of course, “son of,” and turn it into SOMETHING EVEN WORSE; not one, but TWO apostrophes (what earthly purpose do they serve, anyway?); not just the usual obligatory Y but two of them; and the lovely finish of a perfectly incongruent middle name borrowed from someone’s elderly aunt.

Now for the punchline: God help us all, this woman is PREGNANT AGAIN.

— M.