I – I can’t help it. Although I have recently become addicted to babynames.com, I must “out” one of my fellow members, who has named her children some of the most godawful names I’ve ever seen – and I’ve read your ENTIRE site.

For purposes of verification: her username is Aubbie1 (this in itself is wearymaking and weird. Because why? Because her real name is Audrey. And Aubbie is certainly the obvious nickname for Audrey…on the planet Ookiebabytalk) and I’ve attached a post from her. These are her Darling Daughters:

Odyssey Sky (odie)
Ma’kaye’lynn Opal (mo)

Really, Ma’kaye’lynn deserves some sort of award, don’t you think? Random arrangement of unrelated syllables which manages to take that most odious (uh, sorry, Odie) of current trends, giving girls names beginning with Mc, which means, of course, “son of,” and turn it into SOMETHING EVEN WORSE; not one, but TWO apostrophes (what earthly purpose do they serve, anyway?); not just the usual obligatory Y but two of them; and the lovely finish of a perfectly incongruent middle name borrowed from someone’s elderly aunt.

Now for the punchline: God help us all, this woman is PREGNANT AGAIN.

— M.