Tag Archives: letters

I work as a social worker, and I see a LOT of bad ones. I’ve had Crystal (special because mom said it was after the crystal meth she used while pregnant), LaPrecious Barbie, and Unique (guess that other Unique you listed isn’t). My all time favorite, though… Randazzle. Randazzle is a boy and goes by Randy.

-Libby

i live in florida, which sometimes seems to be the capital of made up and asinine names. over the years i’ve gone to school with a shaboz, a latoddrea, a wolf, a brick, a cleao, a chase, three latorias and a shenita mann. among others. i am so glad i’m headed up north in the fall!

Here’s a name for you:

Brock Star Kronitz.

And no, there was no drugs involved – it was a ‘natural’ birth.

– A.

I know of a man who prides himself, however undeservedly, on, well, a certain machismo. Supposedly in keeping with this image, he named his son Blade. While this is just wrong in more ways than a google plex has zeros, I believe that “Blade” is frequently the title of a periodical for the gay community. Not, as we all know, that there’s anything wrong with that, but it rather contradicts the whole macho, straight guy image.

To make matter worse, the dad recently bought an H2. Where does one even start about Blade in the Hummer?

Tim

I used to work at an answering service in Victoria, Canada. I’d occasionally jot down the names that struck my fancy:

Velvet Warrior
Honey Palm
Harry Palm
Beryl Bigcanoe
Rod Dick
Ruby Diamond
Ruby Black

In my current job, I’ve come upon the names –
Misty Wood
April Field
Venus Piano
Winsome
Paisley
Fantasia

Cheers,
From an Elizabeth Jane (thanks mum! thanks dad!)

This may seem a little unbelievable but I have a (relative) who is about 18 now. A recent Graduate of Job Corps in Gadsden, AL. Her name is Krystal Klear Peebles. That is the weirdest name that I have ever come across.

I was thinking about your site this morning for some reason, and remembered meeting a girl named BLUEBERRY.

I met Blueberry in Chicago at a media event (she’s an editor of Handy magazine), and when she introduced herself, I literally BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. My face turned beet red when I realized that she was not kidding. She’s such a sweet girl, too….and so pretty. I swear if she gains weight, and wears blue….well, I cannot be held responsible for others’ reactions. Hope you add it to your list!

These aren’t awful on their own, but my cousin just had twins, a boy and a girl. Tyler and Taylor. I think Tyler’s the boy and Taylor’s the girl, but I can’t remember! Their older brother is Tanner.

Also, I work with someone named Timberly, which I thought was unusual.

Your site is a lot of fun – I haven’t laughed that hard in a while!

Julia

I thought you might like to share names of people I went to university with in New Zealand: Most of whom wanted their full names kept secret.

Chrysoprasia ( Surname )
Rose Cletus ( Surname )
Kay Emma Peel (Surname)

-DFS

while i myself do have a pretty unpronounceable name, i’d like to point out that it’s because my parents are ghanaian. (it’s also because my mother’s name is rose and she felt robbed of her ethnicity, so now she’s taken it out on my sister and me.) anyway, having this name has made 12 years of public school hell for me; now that i’m going to college and then into the real world, it won’t just be me dreading substitute teachers. no, now it can spread to include pretty much the world at large, from receptionists to potential bosses. so i’ve embarked on a search to find a better name; that’s how i came across your site. i ALSO found two sites which should be banned from public use because they’re both akin to lighting a match in the firework store of idiocy:

first there’s a charming baby namer at oxygen.com which seems innocuous – until you go into the database and see the names “swanhilda” and “shakuntala” back to back in perfect seriousness, both of which i think have bird derivatives. wow, that makes them sound even worse… a new feat. then there’s my personal favorites, that i just found in browsing for the link to the main site: “hreodbeorth” and “aemilius”. the first is the ancester of robert and the second the predecessor of emily. …words fail me. and “nike”? didn’t they see ANY problem with that?

then there is a true gem of a site called utah baby namer: an online help for parents looking for that distinctive name that says ‘i’m a utah mormon!'” i couldnt finish reading all the names because of the peculiar proportions of vowels to consonants in each name (there were either waaaaaaaaay too many vowels or none at all), but my favorite of the ones i did manage to get through were “aarikkaa” and “abcde” (names to choke on if ever there were any). a close runner up was “ae jae.” and i still haven’t figured out why “aingee” gives me the creeps so badly; it should be pronounced like angie, but it makes me think of fungus for some reason.

-Adwoa

Note: The authors of the Utah Baby Namer warn on their front page these names are not so much suggestions as anthropological artifacts. It should also carry a warning it will make soda come out your nose, make you want to rescind Utah’s statehood, and make you eager to talk to missionaries who come by your house, just so you can find out their names.

“Sure I’d love to hear about the Book of Mormon, Elder LuWayne (snicker snicker).”

Hey…maybe THAT’s why they used those names!