Tag Archives: letters

My sister had a friend that had a baby girl when she was 15 almost 16. Now the names that she was picking out wernt that bad you know normal ones like Ashley or Amy stuff like that. Well that baby girl was born and she comes out and names her

December-Rain Maddison

Yes Her first name is December-Rain and the poor childs middle name is Maddison. That’s what you get for letting a 16 y/o pick a name for a baby.

That’s what you get when you let a 15 year old HAVE a baby.

Final submissions: All negative-connotation animals! (These are all on their ‘possibilities’ list, I swear!): Armadillo, elephant, hamster, hippo, horse, llama, moose, rabbit, raccoon, rhino, sheep, squirrel and walrus. And in honor of Sweden’s naming laws, Stockholm.

Results: Some strangely normal names! Timothy, Solomon, Raphael, Rhys, Kerry, Donnie, Robert. But also interesting hybrid animals Lesrus, Armiceros, Hippopeep, Elephama, Agunie, and Squioose.

Today I let it run wild with hideous nature names: Air, Beech (sic), Branch, Canyon, Fog, Galaxy, Mercury, Meteor, Spring and Thunder.

Results: Shawna, McCoy, Baako, Banana, Pattin, Snowdrop, Dahlia, Kiran, Narik, Snowison, Banuary, Sprran, Bradrop, LaFogyell, Regtan, and Shanbananana.

This time, I tried feeding it the most popular names of 1904: John , Mary, William, Helen, George, James, Margaret, Ruth, Joseph, and Anna.

I got back a long list of current trendy names like Paige, Brooklynn, Tea (?!), Summer, Kaila, and fun combinations like Brooma, Sumrge, Valelique, Thur, Trakinsailo and Shanmanaminita.

This time, I fed it 2002’s top five most popular names: Jacob, Emily, Michael, Madison, Joshua, Hannah, Matthew, Emma, Ethan, Alexis.

I got back:

Shatammietta, Kamariely, Maxis, Marheal, Kaytietity, Aleiel, Allella, Roxmmi, Achytsti, Lyime, Seema, Socob, Kaytie-Robyn, and a name I can’t believe I never thought of before: Mackison.

Reader Damian tipped me off to the World’s Scariest Name Generator:

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/newborn/newname.html

The myriad possibilities of the site are so stupendously terrible, I’m devoting a whole week to it.

Today’s input: My favorite words- “Baby’s,” “Named,” “a,” “Bad,” “Bad,” and “Thing;” plus my favorite flower, Orchid (latin for testicle); my favorite city (Bogota, Colombia, in honor of what I must be snorting hourly); my favorite animal (sheep – ’nuff said); and my astrology sign (Cancer, it’s like Kaitlyn, but unique!).

Some of what I got back:

Iman, Crab, Dihcro, Columbia, Water, Sheep, Dab, Tashawna and….Audrey??? Plus a lot of total gibberish, like Dyaeru and Lechrtlse, and my favorite, Ranttis!

It also came up with a list of prefixes and suffixes, where I found the perfect name: Cancury

i offer 2 names for your trove.

my (relative), McClain Estee (last name). *shakes head sadly*. they call him “T” as a nickname. “Estee” is his great-grandfather’s name; McClain they made up. Poor kid. He’s 18 months old.

Also, HAND TO GOD, when i was working as an insurance underwriter, i issued a policy for a man named Contageous Phinnesse, in Tennessee. i assumed he was a drag queen, but apparently Phinnesse is a very real family name in the Tennessee area.

i hope this information doesn’t frighten you.

thanks for the laughs.
-S.

Thanks for the web site. I laughed myself silly, and here’s a name for you. My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Tramontina (I am sure she had a first name, and I hope it was nice and normal) had a daughter called Tjaden. Tjaden Tramontina. What with all the Jadens and Jaydens, Jaydinns and Jaydins on your website, I wanted to point out, it can be worse. I tried to find Tjaden on the web, but she’s not showing up. Fortunately, I have year books from elementary school that can prove her existence. I wonder if she’s changed it by now.

-B.

My name is Harper. I’m female. I’ve had 36 years of trying to explain my name, and would like to offer you parents some hindsight now. Please take it — it’s not often one can take advantage of hindsight years before it is needed. Don’t do it. Don’t name your kids Harper, unless you want them to endure an ‘Attack on Pearl Harper’ in the neighborhood pool. Year after year. Or unless you want them to inadvertently memorize the chorus to Jeannie C. Riley’s ‘Harper Valley PTA,’ because lots of clever people will sing that song to your kids, and laugh about it. Don’t do this to your kids, please.

And if you do, please don’t give them yet more last names as middle names. Trust me on this one. As I am married, I now have four last names. All ‘unique and special’ names. And I know exactly what your kids will want to do to you when they ‘grow into’ their ‘unique and special names.’ And it isn’t pretty.

Sincerely,
Harper Gantt Russell (last name)

I just saw your site and have a couple of bad baby names. First, I know this little boy whose first name is Trainer. I just think that’s wrong, but apparently its his mothers maiden name. Also, in college I knew a guy whose parents were big travellers. His name? Paris. And his sister’s? Cairo.

-B.

File under ‘Exceptions’: Mom’s maiden name is fair game for a kid’s first or especially middle name. However, two things – #1. It makes it much easier for someone to commit identity fraud, and #2. Mom’s maiden name might not work so well as a first name. I mean, if she’s a Cooper or Jackson or Simon, you’re good to go. If she’s a Watkins or Klein or Gutierrez-Ramierez – problem.