Category: Bad Baby Names

A name that used to elicit a double take, and now elicits a chuckle, from me when I hear it on the news, is that of Connecticut state senator George Jepsen.

None of the news stories I’ve heard yet mention Jane, his wife, his boy Elroy, or daughter Judy.

-jeff

After reading your entire website and laughing my ass off I knew I needed to write you.

I am also Diane- but i have also had the misfortune of my mother thinking she was funny or something so the correct spelling is Dy-Anne (and yes the hyphenation and capitalization are correct).

So to continue the trend I had to name my first child M’kaela Cosette Mc(last name)… I like Michaela for quite some time before it was popular plus it sounded good with our last name. He wanted Cosette after Les Miserables his favorite musical.

Then we have Caillou (yes after the cartoon- totally my husbands idea- he like the theme song) with the middle names of James Robert -James being both my husbands name and my paternal grandfathers name and to my mothers dismay Robert is from the man who lived in sin with my maternal grandmother (hey he was the only grandfather I knew on that side of the family)

Finally our third child is: Calandra Autumn Luella Mc(last name) — Yes those initals spell Calm. I think it is funny and i am sure she will get made fun of if kids find out- but thats what happens when your mother insist that you give your daughter the same middle name she has which was also her grandmothers middle name-(being Luella) I was also bribed with huge amounts of gifts for Grammy’s Callie Lu.

-Dy-Anne

Comment: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M’kaela Mc(last name)? Kids named for cartoon theme songs? Acronyms??

#1. Future moms, if a name you’ve liked for a while turns out to be popular when you’re actually breeding: LET IT GO. #2. The no-naming-after-your-current-fave-TV-show rule goes double for TV theme songs. #3. Acronyms are for freakin’ international organizations and complex computers. Naming your kid Diandre Allyssya Monsoone Nataliynn just so it’ll spell out DAMN is Lileigh Alanada Mykeelaugh Eterynty.

I went to high school with a guy named Beejay (it might have been two words: Bee Jay) Bigmeat. He

There is a nurse at my doctor’s office named Pixie Stocking!

-Jason

I think perhaps my family on my mother’s side was trying to set some record for the most god-awful collection of hideous names known to man. Now, I’m all for old-fashioned names. Hell, I even sort of like the name Maud. But these are some truly terrible monstrosities.

I recall from one of your previous Letters of the Day that someone knew of two guys who worked together called Otto and Kermit. Yep, I got both of those. In the same immediate family.

Where to begin…
My grandmother’s grandmother: Huldah Bertha (wtf??)

She also has twin cousins named Lela and Leta (That’s right, Leeeeeeeee-la and Leeeeeeee-ta.) Leta married a guy named Paul, and what did they name their daughter? Yep, Pauleta. (Paul-leeeeeeeeeeeeta.)

This isn’t a relation, but a good friend of my grandmother’s is named Uldean. She married a man named Earl. They have a child (don’t remember if it’s male or female) called Earldean. Good Christ.

Fortunately, my grandmother saw fit to give her own children fairly normal names (Kathryn, Linda, and Judith), thus breaking the cycle of abuse.

-Celeste

I met a guy who worked as a holiday rep. He was english, as am i, His name was chompa and his brother who worked in the resort was called chimpa. I didn’t believe it either until i saw their passports!

Also i remember reading in the paper about a guy who named his kids fifa and uefa after football tournaments! (F.I.F.A and U.E.F.A!). It might have been better if the twins were boys not girls??

-L.

Darn it, I wish I’d saved the announcement. I regularly browse my local paper’s births section looking for the worst name of the day. About a year ago, I saw one that has not been beat since…some fine folks named their daughter Ozzlynn. Why does that make me want to bite the head off a bat??

-Beth

From a blog today: “Infinite Skyy” for boy.

Mom is a sullen teenager who writes fantasy stories and really likes eyeliner.

Love love love your site. Sadly I have one of “those” names, regrettably given to me in the very early 70s but well meaning hippies. Your site lets me see how much worse it could have been.

-Jacyn (female)

I’ve seen these two in a database at work that requires a birth certificate to register. So they’re real.

1. A baby girl named “Nemisis” (sic). I recommend “Archenemy” for a nickname, or perhaps “Archinimy”, to stick with the unique spelling scheme. And it seems mom’s trying to get pregnant again. My colleague suggested “Bane” for the younger sibling.

2. First name “Quntico”. I haven’t heard this one spoken, only seen it written down, so I can think of a couple of possible pronunciations. I hope it’s only a misspelling of Quantico, the US Marine Corps base/FBI HQ in Virginia. Because if it’s not, and the “Qu” takes the hard “K” sound, then, well, someone’s in for a rough childhood.

-T

I work at a small printing company in a small West Tennessee town. We often print obituary programs for the local black funeral homes. (As it is not the subject of this email, I will refrain from comment on the segregation-by-death issue.)

Many years ago (I believe it was the late 1980’s) I designed an obituary program for a man named (I swear this is true): Pilot Light.

-P