Category: Bad Baby Names

Spotted this one today in a news story:

Ti’Juana Hardwell

“Not every case is the same, so policies that do not consider all the factors are inappropriate,” Ti’Juana Hardwell, 16, told the board.”

Ok,naming your kid after a region which is most famous for getting American college kids drunk and live entertainment which features women having sex with domesticated animals is bad enough, but the superfluous apostrophe just takes the cake.

-greg

Found in a South Carolina paper

Foul play ruled out in woman’s death

Investigators have ruled out foul play in the case of a woman who died shortly after being driven to a Columbia-area gas station Friday.

Velveeta Elaine Daniel Johnson, 44, of 2404 Washington St., Columbia, died at Palmetto Health Richland about 5:15 p.m., about 30 minutes after she was driven to a gas station in the 6000 block of Monticello Road, said Ted Kennedy, Richland County chief deputy coroner.

Witnesses said a man got out of the vehicle, a red truck, to get help, Kennedy said. Johnson, who had asthma, started to stumble when she got out. When emergency crews arrived, the man drove off. He has not been located. Richland County sheriff’s spokesman Joseph Pellicci said investigators want to talk with the man to find out what happened.

No cause of death has been determined, Kennedy said. Toxicology tests are still being done.

-jenny

I wanted to throw a couple names your way. There’s this girl who works at one of the grocery stores here (South Carolina) and her nametag says Trashia… I kid you not. I’m thinking it’s not pronounced how it’s spelt, they never are anyway. But just looking at it, what do you see? Trash… TRASH. Perhaps her mom couldn’t find a dumpster to put her in?

I grew up in Wisconsin and I went to school with some people who had very interesting names indeed. Here’s the worst of the them:

Cinder’ella (forget her last name)
Halania Jordan
I knew a GIRL named James (forget her last name too)
And then there was both Richard Whacker, and Richard Head.

-A

The pain of a white girl named Tonisha! (Toe NISH ah but most commonly miscalled Toe NEE sha). Do you know how many times I get, “I thought you were black!” Grrrr! The best part is when I was in COLLEGE a teacher read my name off the roll as … Toshiba. O_o!

-Tonisha

Your website is classic! I thought I could make two contributions, if they pass your standards. I had a boyfriend who had a friend named Weed. I don’t know his middle or last names, but his parents actually named him Weed.

I have a nephew named Dominick, but they call him “Ahmers.” Yeah, like Jeffrey Dahmer. Poor kid.

-K.

There is ball field in Beverly, Massachusetts dedicated to a certain individual with the misfortune of being named Harry Ball. There is a very prominent sign at the entrance to this field proclaiming it The Harry Ball Field. You’d think “Harold”, or maybe just “H.” would have been used, but noooooo….

-annie

I have dear friends who in the mistaken notion that “god given” should be taken literally, named their poor, innocent son Dieudonne. Is their last name French? Hell no, it’s Hispanic! Mon dieu! And there’s no middle name at all, so the kid can’t shimmy out of it.

-H.

I just wanted to submit a name that was mentioned that someone I know will be naming there unborn daughter Lavender Skye….

-R.

I absolutely loved your site and your howl-worthy comments. I work for an education savings plan company and I do come across the weirdest names. I thought I’d send you these:

Shakania: while I do see lots of little Shakiras and Shanias in the course of my work, to push the envelope this far can’t be healthy for the child. Great if she grows up with a talent for singing and/or shaking her ass but what if she doesn’t? What is she gonna do? Turn tricks?

Blue Reef: enough said. Poor little boy.

Lancasta’: bad enough that it’s a place, it’s also spelled incorrectly. (that was for a girl)

Note: A few years ago in Quebec, there was a couple on the news because they wanted to name their son Spatule (you guessed it, Spatula) after the bird. Luckily for the kid, the court intervened at the request of the family. I’m pretty sure that Kakinston would be court worthy. *s*

Thanks for the laughs,
A.

The oddest name I have encountered: Joyalathinge Bates. During my brief conversation with Ms. Bates I learned her first name is pronounced joy-ala’-thing-e and, for obvious reasons, she much prefers to be called Joy.

-C