Category: Bad Baby Names

My son is named Mason and I don’t see what is wrong with that. I have been suffering with my husband saying if this baby is a girl he’ll name her America. I have tried to change his mind thousands of times, but he is stubborn. It’s not that I’m not patriotic, I’m just thinking ahead to her school days. I don’t want my child to have to endure being called “Miss America” or any other corny attempts at humor.

Damn it, woman! If you don’t name your baby America, the terrorists win! Every patriot must go out and name their baby America!

Miss America my ass. It’s the Coming to America jokes I’d fear.

Two great replyies:

How about Amaricus or just Maricus. Maricus kind of goes with Mason. When someone asks your kids names you can say, Mason and Maricus. They are different and unique. It still goes with America. Maybe you don’t like it now but it may grow on you. If you kind of like them, run them by your husband. Also, if your child gets called ‘Miss America’ it’ll be a comment.

Er, yes. It will be a comment. Now I’m going to drink a bottle of Scotch. It will be a drink!

I think it’d be funnier if the kids were named Maricus and Mason and when someone asks their kids names she could go, “Consuelo and Rudolfo.” They are different and unique.

Pick a name that stands for something.A unique name.If its a boy ,America, if its a girl, Americus.Those are just two names.Liberty.Pick something that makes you and your partner both happy.Don`t listen to other people(I know I sound
hipacritical but listen to your heart.

Oh, dude, you are like critically hip. You’re hipacritical!

Now I know it’s like criticizing the paint job on the Titanic, but wouldn’t Americus be a better boy name, and America a better girl name?

how about:
Winter Snow
Forest Greene
or
Sage August

How ’bout Oy and Vey?

What is a nature realated name for a boy? I am pregnant with a boy and I already have four girls. My girls are Summer Skies, Autumn Night, April Shower, and Spring Flower. Please help I am due in November.
Star Light
Star Light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, let this lady be a mental patient whose “children” are actually straws she stole from the hospital cafeteria.

I love the Lord, am a LDS woman, and would like to name my baby baby Jesus.

Wait, she wants to call him “Baby Jesus”? How will that work after he’s 33?

My husband says this is ridiculous because we are not latino and he does not even go to church anymore. I looked and it is a popular name in the US so it must be that others like me are out there spreading His love. His full name would be “Jesus Joseph Dewey”. Can any one tell me if when you are at the hospital can you refuse to let your husband have a say in what the birth certificate says? I 18 years old and am a first time mom.

Issue 1: Jesus! (Praise the Lord!) Joseph! (Hallelujah!) Dewey. (…..um…..He’s a duck, right?)

Issue 2: Latinos apparently don’t live in America, and/or their naming choices don’t count in statistics.

Issue 3: Have you ever heard anything so romantic, and yet so filled with Our Heavenly Father’s purest love alighting from heaven to his children upon the earth as an 18 year old Mormon girl wanting to have her husband barred from the hospital where she’s just given birth so she can name their child Jesus. Joseph. Dewey? Amen.

It’s fun to have a little story behind names, for retelling later on. My sons name involves my middle name (Rae) and my daughter has a similar middle name (Mae). We knew we were getting a Son, an so his named worked out to be Graeson. Kinda neat.

The fuck? How did that “work out” when you “got” your son. Brain…hurts…

Having been a child myself, it seems that it doesn’t matter what your child is named, all children will eventually be teased for something, so what?

Wow, you were a child once? No shit! Me, I was born 19 years old, 65 inches long and weighed 7 pounds, 1760 ounces. My mother was a brave woman.

I am expecting in November. We were thinking about naming our son Kason. I’ve seen this name only once before (spelled Cason). I loved it then – and then realized that it was the combination of my husband and my name (Kay & Jason). Aside from the fact that friends/realitives may think we are crazy….what do you think about the name Kason for a boy?

Kay and Jason. Making their kids an extention of themselves a little too much.

I had a baby girl 3 months ago and we named her Lauren Rebecca (Rebecca is my husbands sister’s name). However, it does not seem to fit and we would like to change her name to Emma Lauren. But, my husband does not think it would be appropriate to drop Rebecca since she was named after his sister. I don’t want our daughter to have four names Emma Lauren Rebecca [last name], and we don’t want to drop Lauren either. How do I handle this situation. Please help! I would like to change her name before she starts knowing her name!!

Holy cow.

I fully endorse this amazing insult to her child’s aunt on one condition. She explains in no uncertain terms how a middle name (which has been used for millennia) can fail to fit an infant who is just barely old enough to discover she has feet and they can fit in her mouth.

I am due in November, I just got pregnant. I am having quadruplets! Wow, that’s a lot of kids. I am having four girls and one boy.

Um, there’s an extra quadruplet. Are you going to auction off your least favorite or something?

The boy’s name I am set on. His name will be Anthony [last name] Jr. His middle name will start with “E.” My husband doesn’t want it said because it’s very Italian and hard for everyone to say.

I like it. Anthony That-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named [last name] Jr.

But the girls I am having trouble with. I picked out a bunch of names for firsts, but for middles I want common, traditional names. I narrowed it down to Morgan, Arianna, Savanna(h), Sierra, Sasha, or Alyssa.

I don’t know much about computer programming, but I think I can build a program to help this lady name her kids. It’s called “Bunch of Letters Followed by ‘ah’ 2.1.” Let’s take it for a test-drive:

kjlasjdah
wifnah
odah
roofingnailsah
powlwah
platypusah
Yeah, looks good.

And, as usual, I doubt she’s really having quadruplets. High-order multiple pregnancies happen at a much higher rate online than in real-life because it’s easier to conceive a bunch of imaginary friends than it is to conceive four kids.

Mason is my son’s name. It is in the top 100 boy’s names for 2001. I think it is a stong boy’s name. Why would anyone make fun of it?

Because they’re opposed to his secret Masonic orders trying to overthrow the government, along with Ted Turner, the secret Catholic cultists in the Supreme Court, and the Anti-Defamation League. Duh!

My son’s name is Gavin Orion. I’m due in September. The names we’ve picked out are Lyra Star for a girl, and Dante Randall for a boy. We tried to stay away from family or “too common” names. (Ours are Rachel and Jason)

Dante Randall? Look, I like “Clerks” too, but that’s just going too far. And Lyra? No child should be made out of the same material as leotards.