Category: Bad Baby Names

The Tale of the Overzealous PC Apologist: Chapter 1
Sometimes when people post their favorite names on here, we may think that they have the most ridiculous taste in the world. But there are so many people, in different cultures and places, and so their version of a beautiful name might be slightly different then ours. Get over it, and name your children what you love. Some people come on here for advice, and providing your opinion is different than knocking their choices…. Just don’t hate on others!

So it’s OK to provide your opinion as long as you don’t actually criticize their choice, even though most of them aren’t so much making choices as…asking for opinions. And the vast majority of the names have no tie whatsoever to any sort of identifiable ethnicity besides Would-Be Yuppie on Too Much Xanax. Um, yeah.

The vast majority of negative emails I get include the phrase “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Which I would argue with, except when people ASK for opinions, they are ASKING for disagreement. And when I give it to them, they get all pissy and say, “Well its MY baby!” and so they can go screw.

Don’t worry, I don’t hate on others. Their kids will do it for me.

i have a daughter named emma grace and another named brooklyn hope. i was wondering if i should name my next daughter nicole faith or kennedy faith.

Brooklyn Hope? Kennedy Faith? How ’bout Cedars Sinai and round out the “My kids sound like medical centers” trifecta?

I had a little girl nine months ago and I named her Gennavieve Luaraleigh, and I still have not come across any babies with that name yet. (I just wanted to put that out there as a suggestion to anyone else)

…because she’s desperate to assuage her guilt in having named her child such a lengthy mismash of phonetic and agressively anti-phonetic spellings.

One name that you could use-Nevaeh My cousin used this. it is heaven spelled backwards. Summer Nevaeh would be pretty.

See, what’d I say about random letters?

I’ve seen Neveah creep up in popularity for years, and it never stops making me queasy. First of all, it’s gibberish. Second of all, the traditional superstition is words said backwards mean the opposite of the word said forwards…so the name means “hell.”

And finally, it gets extra funny when you start treating Neveah like a real name, then adding crap to it. I’ll dig around for the link, but I know someone on the forum found one of my favorite posts ever – someone naming their kid “Neveahlee,” because it’s like “heavenly,” get it? Not “Eel Heaven” backwards.

My husband wants to name our baby Xavier Robert if its a boy. I want to name it Michaela Ann if its a girl. The ultrasound shows that the baby is a boy.

Does the ultrasound also show he has a plastic, football-shaped head? If yes, definitely Xavier Robert.

I am also having trouble coming up with a name for my baby girl due in October. What do you think about Carlie Rebecca or Sara Beth? My brother’s name is Charlie and I would like to name her after him, but my husband doesn’t like the name “Rebecca”. I’m having trouble coming up with middle names that go with Carlie…. my name is Beth — is it O.K. to have that for my child’s name as well (my husband likes the idea). … Also, I would love for the name to really mean something; we love the outdoors — we do alot of biking and hiking.

Carlie Schwinn
Carlie Poisonoak
Carlie Roadrash
Carlie Off!
Carlie Emergencyflare

Just found out i am pregnant. Already my husband and i can not decide on a name. Luckly i have a long time to convince him! LOL … We have one 6 year old son named Collin, so something that goes with that. I like Lillian Elizabeth and Tristan David. My husband likes Karma Jade and Isaiah David. We cant agree, so i think we should look for different names all together. thanks for any help!

Again, a strategy I’m not getting. They pick names on their own, and because they didn’t come up with the same ones, they start over? My very basic probability skills (and an e-mail from Chris at UWash to correct me) say that the odds of two people thinking of two names of a mere five random letters each (random being the favored method of creating a bad baby name) are 1 in 380,204,032 (including rAndOm caPitalIzatIon). And that’s only in the Latin alphabet.

Lillian made me happy. Older name, not trendy (though Lily is)…probably the first time I’ve seen it on a naming site. I take my happies where I can.

Try new Karma Jade! The mystical healing stone used for centuries in the mysterrrrrious Orient!

What does everyone think if about naming boy and girl twins Karlee Autumn and Kory Allen after my brother Kory Allen? Their sisters are Arielle Dakota and Tatum Mercedes.

Wait…Kory Allen’s named after who again?

I could write a lengthy essay about people naming their kids after luxury automobiles (yes, I know Mercedes is a real girl’s name, but why is it becoming more popular at the same time as variations on Lexus and Porshe (not Portia)?)…but I think the point is too obvious to waste bandwidth on.

For the record I and my “normal” name(Rachel Diane) got more crap in school than you would think possible. I was suicidal, fountunately didn’t get preggers, (although many others with “normal” names did), and dealt with a rather nasty drug problem for several years. If my name were say, “Candyland Starship” would my life had been any different? I don’t think so.

Well established scientific fact: People with normal names are destined for crap, drug abuse and pregnancy (though she’s putting no time frame on this tale. Is she happy because she didn’t get pregnant at age 35? If so, she’s preaching to the wrong choir. Most of these women are desperate to have hobbies….I mean….children.)

I prefered it when they were Candyland Airplane myself.

there is a girl who is in my classes at college, morgan. she is the most popular person in the world. i am a pack rat, so i save newspapers. i was looking through them, and i found out that she was even more popular as a kid then she is now. she is in about seven of the newspapers. then i was thinking, morgan, what a pretty name.i dedicided that mybaby, if it is a girl will be named morgan elizabeth. is that a good name?

Funny, I thought most stalkers were too busy working on their basement shrines to meet someone and get knocked up.