Category: Bad Baby Names

Or a Brand of Gin

A friend just named their baby girl Sapphire Velvet. I am concerned that the little girl may end up being a dancer or adult film star with a name like that. I hope she proves me wrong.


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Damn These Multiple Births!

In the invented random names category: Quintoria. I had a world history class with her, and my friends and I came up with various fifth-child theories, but I don’t think that numbers or logic had much to do with this one.

Also, Rotunda…the possibilities for weight-related jokes are endless, aren’t they? My mother also taught elementary school spanish, and in organizing her various school materials I found some weird ones. In the pretentiously misspelled category: Hevaughnleigh…and to make matters even worse, her brother is named Skielarh. There was also an inexplicable tendency to give poor, unwitting children names that seemed more suited to dogs: Princess, Duke, Buster, etc.


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It’s Worse in Yiddish

My sister worked with a girl named Trashanda. It sounds fine (truh SHAHN da), but on paper.. ….. eh……

Also…. My aunt was going to be named Karen, until her pregnant mother put it together at the last minute with the surname, Aaron.


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To Be Weird, Elves Use “Brian”

I finally finished reading your whole website (I think) and loved it, loved it, loved it and I actually have something to add.

I sometimes forget that three of my friends have really weird names, mostly because I am so used to them I guess. My best friend is Galandrielle. Obviously a Lord of the Rings reference. Her Dad was reading it when her Mom was pregnant and I guess Galadriel just wasn’t weird enough?!?! Good lord, the amount of teasing she took as a child.

I also have a friend named Efua Dubie. The worst part about this is that her given name was Hannah, she actually thought it was a good plan to change her name to Efua (Eff-oo-wa). (I don’t really know how to do that phonetic business, I am a lowly political science girl myself.)

Lastly, I have a good friend from childhood whose name is Sansea. Sansea was named after a friend of her parents who was an artist. This one is pronounced like Sand Sea without the D. I am not exactly sure what is wrong with all these people’s parents. We are all in our late twenties, early thirties so perhaps the hippy thing? Not sure, but I know it’s not good.

-Maura (I feel lucky in the name department)

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Valentine’s Day With Jerry & Maury


I enjoy going to your website looking up names for my co-workers and my mother… Lately I’ve been watching Maury Povich and the folks on there are just as bad as Jerry Springer. But, I just wanted to give you a few names to ponder over.

Maury show: Repelus (female) sounds like a new bug repelant to me. Of course she was trying to find the father of her child and the two on the show were “Not the Father”.

My friend’s, friend’s daughter: Devonataysia: I don’t know how mom spells her 4 yr old daughter’s name but the pronunciation is: De Vonna Tay sha.

Also: Nagleatha, LaForest (female) Tion’a (pronounced: Shawn-nay)(this should probably go under your syllable exchange program.

Jerry show: Gwantina, Kitaka

Carmax sales woman: Larkeetha

Little girl on American Juniors: Jadzia

She was showing me how to work Meeting Maker: Makneeka

Maybe there is some meaning I just can’t find regarding these names, but they are NBA football players: Peerless, Plaxico, Laveraneus, Avon, Shantee, Tebucky.

Friend’s mother and her twin: Della Rae and Stella Mae

I guess that’s enough for now.


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Batman Fight Visual

I knew a guy in college who’s name was Biff. I had to ask what his real name was. He explained that his name was actually Biff. He very pregnant mother had been standing in line at the grocery store and at the next register was another pregnant woman and a friend. The friend jokely siggested the name Biff and they laughed while Biff’s mother thought, “hmmmmm, what a great name.” The rest is obvious.


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Autistic Kids Teach Us a Lesson

When I was teaching, I had a boy student (from Korea) whose name was Gun Bang. Mom’s name was Mi Sil (missle).

Fortunately the kids didn’t make fun of him—they were all autistic and couldn’t really talk.


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My daughter had a boy in her 4th grade class this year named Sauconey Apt.

Now why would you name your kid after running shoes??


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Hosanna! Three Horrible Names!

From a Baby Center bulletin board:

Which name sounds better?

Skylande Aaliyah Noelle…or Skylande Mahoganey Niquolle….I love the name Messiah for a boy. My sister says it’s too close to meaning Lord, but I love it and I love odd names. How many Messiah’s do you know???? My last name is (easy British-origin last name)…

I looked up ‘Skylande’ and got a lot of pages in Swedish, but it’s not in any dictionaries I can find. Anybody know? (Please tell me it translates “too close to meaning Lord.”)

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Frankly, My Dear

Your site is hilarious, constantly laughing out loud like everybody e lse reading it. Here are some names I’ve come across in the past few y ears:

Raven which isn’t so bad, but coupled w/ her sister’s name Harvest …need I say more?

A little boy named Cincere, I had to write his name out while at work for a coupon, & his mother got irritated w/ me b/c I initially spelled it Sincere.

I am not making this up, it sounds crazy, but I know a guy named Frank Frank, yep both 1st & last names are ‘Frank’, I don’t even think his f irst name is officially Francis either, as far as I know Frank is his full 1st name…but wait, there’s more – I’m not lying, he lives in a town called Frankfort.

Thanks, B.

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