Category: Bad Baby Names

All right, that’s it, I have had it, I cannot stand the injustice anymore…the name Caitlin is a Gaelic variant on Kathleen or Katherine and is pronounced Cat-leen not kate-lin. Imagine someone with an Irish accent saying “Kathleen” and there you have it. So to all you trendy yuppie jump-on-the-old-country-naming-practice urban dwellers, “Get it right!”

Thank you for allowing me this rant. Have a good day!

-Eibhear

I used to know a family that had it all: the egotistical naming after oneself, names that “went together”, not-really-names that were spelled weird, and the incongruous nicknames. The especially weird part is that these kids were all born in the late 70s-early 80s.

Anyway, the dad’s name was Daniel, the mother’s name was Danielle. Ew already, right? So the first daughter was named Danielle, nicknamed Cory; second daughter, Danilee, nicknamed Cara; third daughter, Daniela, nicknamed PJ (WTF?); and of course the son named Daniel, nicknamed Chad.

I was in the same class as the oldest girl, so I used to ponder this family for hours instead of doing my math.

-A

I ran across this post on a bulletin board:

“Ok, me and my husband has finally decided on a name that we like. It’s anislee. Like the lady on the west wing. (My husbands favorite show.)

My friends do not like this name. They said it’s horrible. But it’s the only name me and my husband can decide on. Plus nothing sounds good with it. Please help. Our last name is Rollins.”

WTF? I wrote back and gently reminded her that perhaps a name beginning with ‘anis’ would not be so good in the long term for their daughter’s well-being, and pointed out the traditional spelling of Ainsley (ick either way). Maybe they’re just dyslexic or something, but SHEESH.

-L.

I have a good funny name for you: my English teacher in high school was named Harold Bauld, but went by Harry Bauld. The best part is that he’s bald. On the first day of class he wrote his name on the board and then underneath wrote the word “oxymoron.” Thus we got to laugh at our teacher and learn a new vocab word at the same time!

I also knew a woman whose name was Faye Fay. She married a man with the same last name as her first name.

Cheers!

-Kate

Aparently not a lot of adults in the world know that Jade isn’t just a pretty rock from the enigmatic east.

I’ll let my friend the Dyck Chynnarre (dick-SHUN-AIR-ee) do the talking:

Main Entry: jade
Pronunciation: ‘jAd
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English
1 : a broken-down, vicious, or worthless horse
2 a : a disreputable woman b : a flirtatious girl

-Steven

When my son was born there was a young student nurse working in the maternity ward whose name was Sparkle.

-A

I saw this name at an auto dealership, on a certificate for “outstanding performance” or some such:

Percephanie

I had to stare at it for a long while before I realized it was probably meant to be a version of “Persephone”. Whether the parents meant this as a “cute” variation or (like my parents) simply couldn’t spell will remain unknown … but honestly, do parents really want people wondering this sort of thing? It’s no “Portia/Porsche/Porsha”, but still.

— M.

I come from a large family (6kids) and my parents have a thing for wierd names.

My brothers are named:
Bleu Moon
Dallas Lincolon
Everett Forrest

My sisters are named:
Summer Skye
Misty Rain

And being the last of the bunch I got all the leftover names. Retta Desmond Walker Paris

This is no joke. I hate my parents.

Hi there. Ok, we have a weird last name coincidence… Our next door neighbors are the Balls, the previous owners of the same home were the Boners. We can’t wait to see what the next neighbors names will be.

John sends in this article:

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) – Hate your name?

Consider these doozies: Vasoline Lewis, Emancipation Proclamation Cogshell, Winnie Mac Pough and Texas Moon. Or Toyota Corona Maria Collier, Ima Rose Bush and Rose Royce Hood.

Come on, you say, nobody would stick a little baby with one of those.

But they have.

The Florida Office of Vital Statistics, the state agency that keeps track of all births, deaths, marriages and divorces, has collected unusual names over the years. …”

In case you don’t want to read the whole thing, here’s a key quote from name researcher Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor at UCLA:

“There are lots of studies showing people with more common names tend to be more successful in school situations, professionally and so forth. People with less common, unique or unusual names don’t seem to be doing as well,” he said. “If a person’s name is somewhat bizarre, they are less likely to be taken seriously.”