Author Archives: notwithoutmyhandbag

Everything always seems to show up at the same time, you know? Last week I was totally laid up recovering from exploratory surgery – looking for the cause of my on-going medical crappery. They did find a really gross growth the size of my fist, but it turns out it’s unrelated to me actually being sick! Ha ha! Bastards. 

Anyway, I’m shlumping verrrrrrry slowly around the house feeling like a pick-up full of sumo wrestlers slowly backed over my abdomen. The big achievement of my day is when I walk downstairs and get the mail, then take ten minutes to walk back up one flight of stairs. Most of me is immobile and stiff and worn-out, but since the surgery was non-emergency, they didn’t need to keep me in the hospital. 

Then I get a call from a producer at Oprah. AHHH! What the….? Yup, my friend Rhi was on Oprah’s website and saw they were seeking recommendations for guests on an episode entitled “Trash to Treasures.” Craft things you can make out of crap around the house or at the Goodwill. Rhi sent them my name, they looked at my site, and would I be available to come to Chicago? In three days? I can’t even pull up my socks without it turning into a pain-filled production number, and now Oprah wants me to be funny and interesting and telegenic 2,000 miles away in front of 30 million people?

Obviously, I said yes. 

Unfortunately, they ended up canceling the segment just as they were getting my travel info finalized. But they sent me a big comfy t-shirt as a thank you, and frankly, heavily medicated, craggy, and post-op, that’s what I’ve really been wanting above fame and fortune: Clean sleepwear.

Well, our first foray out in public had many, many extreme good points and one glaring bad point. The positives: both Alison (Smitten Kitten Jewelry) and I (album cover purses) got lots of attention, with hundreds and hundreds of people coming by our booth and giddily praising our wares. The words of the day were definitely “original,” “adorable” and “great.” Downside: After gobs of smiles and enthusiastic compliments, they’d leave … empty handed. Hordes of browsers, few buyers. Stinkin’ economy.

We gave out a lot of cards and flyers, though, so hopefully people will see the error of their ways and realize life gives us few opportunities to own an Aretha Franklin bag, so we must grab them while we can.

The other upside is this means there is a lot more nifty stuff to go around as we head toward the holiday season.

Alison (left) and Di kick it in their highly-improvised booth.

The Castro Street Fair is one of San Francisco’s, and so presumably the U.S.’, biggest gay pride events. The fair area stretched the better part of a mile in each direction and had an estimated crowd of 200,000. Our booth was at ground zero – Castro and Market streets, right in front of the historic Castro Theatre. We were onsite for a solid 12 hours and saw A LOT from our little booth.

Yes, our booth space kicked ass.
(For you non-S.F.ites, that’s the theater, built in 1922 and possibly the best rep film house in the country.)

The fashion must of the fair was definitely the Utilikilt, which is about the best thing in menswear ever. It’s a kilt, so it’s got that whole, you know, hangin’ loose feel but has lots of manly pockets and tool loops for your keys and wallet and stuff. We must’ve seen over a dozen men in Utilikilts, making it a major fashion trend right up there with men in just thongs/jock straps (we saw at least 6 or 7 of them) and totally naked guys (2).

Not long after we finished setting up, I heard this incredible scream, followed by someone yelling, “Oh my God, we’re a purse!” Turns out it was a member of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus who had spotted my bag featuring one of the chorus’ albums. By the end of the day, I’d talked to five or six members of the chorus, who all busted a gut when they saw their 1981 tour album had been paired with “God Bless America,” patriotic hymns by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

It’s about unity, I’d tell them.

She’s not dead, she’s resting! 

It got really hot during midday (San Francisco’s weather corresponds to an unknown hemisphere). Sophie the weiner dog, like most other dogs who came by, soaked up the shade of the tables while she had the chance, and really didn’t want to leave.

She looks like how I felt at this point. The plastic canopy made the booth a greenhouse.

Sophie the weiner dog’s owners stopped by when they saw the Sylvester bag. They live in the building Sylvester (“You Make Me Feel Mighty Real”) used to, right around the corner from where we were, and say his condo is haunted. The lights flash on and off really fast and electricians can find no cause … no cause except Disco Ghost! And there’s no cure…no cure except dancing!

Sylvester’s haunted condo

Some complain the gay community has grown too tame and family-friendly. “Healthy Penis,” star of cartoon public health warnings seen in bars, restrooms and plastered on the utility pole across from our booth may be either the epitome of family-friendly or its most impressive enemy. Either way, he wandered the crowd posing for pictures and reminding people that syphillis is still dangerous.

Click to enlarge. (Not safe for work or people with fond memories of Disneyland.)