Category: Bad Baby Names

I used to work with a girl named Kakiya Sharmika (she went by Mikki). Mikki had a daughter who went by Deedee, but her real name was Dezandra Marquesa (a little too close to “disaster” for my taste).

Anyway, one day Mikki was filling out a kindergarden application for Deedee, and when she got to the field for middle name, I swear, she actually asked me, “How do you spell ‘Marquesa’?” I think in general, it’s a good idea to know how to spell a name before you attach it to your child.

Thanks again for the chuckle.

-D.

I worked in the drive-thru at a bank for several years, and saw more than my fair share of bad names (and being in the drive-thru, I could laugh at them without the customers knowing). I had a customer in her early 70s named “Honor Roll” (first & last names), and another named, “Queen Elizabeth” (first & middle names). My favorite, however, was “Twonatongshakenia.” She went by Twona, pronounced TWAH-nah, but I saw “Two” and thought it was pronounced like the number…thus making her name “Tuna”.

-D.

One of my good friends is named Sharisa (sha-ree-sah), another named Sherrie (rhymes with hurry), and one named Lonelle (low-nell). I have a cousin Courtlyn, his mom saw the name Courtland on a gravestone and changed the spelling. One girl in my high school had a name pronounced Day-veen, but I can’t remember how it was spelled-new teachers always tried “de-vine” first though.

L.

The final part of the Sarah vs. Yahoo trilogy…

Cute twin sets:
Andres and Atasha (not Natasha, no. I think I know where they get all those extra Ns, they take them from Natashas.)
Daisy and Dakota
Arithzy and Athziry
Brealyn and Berlyn
Romyo & Joleet
River and Raine
Mary Kate & Ashley (…don’t even.)
Perry & Kerry
Adonis and Serena
Alex and Ava (Because Adolph and Eva were TAKEN!)
Rayen and Raya
Brice and Bryn
Jaxon and Jada
Aden and Hayden
Ashton and Ashley

One person even said THIS little gem:

How about names of precious gems or metals? The boy could be Silver and the girl could be Sapphire. Or you could try numbers like Seven for the girl and Nine for the boy.

I think I’ll probably end up naming them Harper Benedict and Meredith Lilyana (I love Lily but it doesn’t quite flow with Meredith, and I also like Lilyana, so, there we go.) I know these are still strange, but… better than Sneha. @_@

Sarah’s Yahoo odyssey continues…

For boys:

Finnigan
Kaeden
Theron
Demian
Weston (like the cooking oil?)
Brennon
Jaxson
Zander
Arath
Zorro
Mychal
Colton
Spirit
Court
Steaven
Baylen Blake

Okay, well, I love bizarre names and I want to name my twins-to-be some weird shit… Hannibal or Indiana for a boy, or Tsiana or Annabelle Lee for a girl. (I have one of each, yay.) Fortunately I know better than to actually DO this to my kids. But when I asked for advice on Yahoo! Answers (yeah, I know, REAL smart move there) I got… constant suggestions of… REALLY bad stuff. I can’t believe names like Madison and Mikayla are so popular. I thought Tsiana was strange, but at least it’s not the second-most-common name in the US today.

I thought I’d send some of these in for you to mock. Please, feel free to also mock Hannibal and Indy and Tsi. I know they’re ridiculous, hence why they will end up cats, or D&D characters, instead of walking people.

I said I was having twins and I got LOTS of ‘matched’ names which… I find ridiculous. They are two totally seperate people, folks, they don’t need to rhyme or have a theme or start with the same letter.

So here we have the worst that the people of Y!Answers had to offer, spelling unedited:

For girls:
Ellecia
Phoenix Rayn
Brooklyn Skye
Enya
EmmyLee
Skarlet
Ryder (for a GIRL! Are these people on crack?!)
Kabrien
Bre
Neil
Yasmin
Kaley
Breelyn
Brynlee
Jaelynn
Bryson
Sneha (I SWEAR TO GOD)
Deliaha (Not Delilah, which might be acceptable. How do you even PRONOUNCE this?!)
Aislynn
Maliah (because Malaria is just TOO COMMON THESE DAYS)
Raelynn
Jaylinn
Aienne Argelouissee (I am here on behalf of the CPUV, the Committee for the Prevention of Unnecessary Vowels, to tie your tubes.)

Tomorrow – more of Sarah’s adventures!

Boys:

Ah’Mir Antron
Antawand Syhemd
Romeao Michael

Jalen Terry
Xavyer Ellis
Kaden Robert

Tyce Lakee
Ny’Jarique Anthony
Isaiah Alfonso-Eli’Jah (attack of the random punctuation and capitalization)

Twins:
Frederick Ly-Kee & Ly-Kee Rahsaan (Were they really that stuck for a second boy’s name?)

Quinete Markel (a Jr.–some names really deserve to let die in a previous generation)

–I didn’t comment on most of the above names, they mostly stand on their own for sheer awfulness. Let me know if you use them for another page, as I’d like to read your comments.

Melissa

Was reading your site, and cracked up on most of the pages. I’m sending you a list of names culled from the newspaper announcement of birth certificates issued in the area–many are on this list due to the attack of the random “y”, capital letter(s), and punctuation.

Girls:

Mi Shonia Jai-Erra Na Veah
Marianah Renee
Shanyce Tierny Lydia
Twins (I don’t think the names are so bad for singletons, but they should not be used for siblings, much less for *twin* sisters): Emma Elizabeth & Emily Rose
Shy’Mani J’Ana Shaprieka

Ta Rae Sincendy
Diamond Rose
Demisha Denell
Shai Ann Angelique
Shantrice Dorisann

Nakea Marie Grace
Katie Elizabeth (this child will never grow up so we don’t need a name that will wear well to adult life? Please, if you like the name Katie, name your daughter Katharine and call her Katie, but give her a name that passes the “top of the resume” test)
Eternity Marie
Zyreeanah Amere
Rylee Marie

Macaila Lynn
Destiney Nyree Holly
Ka’Myra Lashea
Amani Joy
Lyndsey Fury

Nai-Jayla Amani
Zyonaha Amari-Uynque (not only is she unique, but we can’t spell it)
Anadya Marie

I went to a Waldorf School and needless to say there were a lot of names there that ranged from goofy to downright cruel (Paprika being one of the more memorable ones). However there were four siblings who take the cake, hands down. Their names? Galadriel, Bilbo, Frodo and Arwen.

Now I can imagine Arwen getting through high school in one piece, especially with her siblings to divert attention, but I weep for little Galadriel. As for poor Bilbo, well…

I remember them because their (now remarried) mother is expecting a fifth cast member. His name? David.

Damn hippies.

– C.

Hi, I just stumbled on your site, and thought it was very interesting. Personally I am a long way off from having kids but I have already chosen the names for them.

Boys:
Nekoda Isaac Nathan
Nekoda is from the Bible…not one of the many known ones but I like that you can shorten it to Nik or Cody and it can be unusual and normal too.
really can’t decide on the next one but some of the choices are:
Taze Anthony Russell
Tristan Jared (or Jacob) Alexander (T.J.)
or Christian Jared (Jacob) Alexander (C.J.)

Girls:
Zekaria Etana Gariella (French way of spelling Zechariah, and Zak can be a shortening)
Samala Aminah Michaela , Sammy or Molly maybe.
Do you think the girl names are to boyish?

-V.