Category: Bad Baby Names

My aunt will kill me for posting this…

Here’s what she named her kids:
Bow Hunter
Blake Lydell
Marshall Cody
All of ’em are boys.

Is your aunt married to Ted Nugent? ‘Cause if not, I bet he’d be happy to adopt Bow Hunter.
This town was mighty lawless ’til Marshall Cody come to town.

Let’s discuss the concept of naming your kid after where they’re conceived, shall we?
(Answer: We shall!)

• If I’d named ’em for where they were most like conceived, well, Paula would have to be called “Mt Graham” for the camping trip DH & I were on…and Joe? Well, I think Joe would now be named, ahem, Ford! (blushing furiously here!)

• Okay if we’re going with truth in advertising….My eldest would be “Billiards”, my middle child would be “Gramma’s-house-on-Christmas-Eve” and my youngest would be “Trampoline”. :-O

I still think the only acceptible place-of-conception name is Uterus. OK, Fallopian’s OK, too.

(The mom in the following post complained, wanting it removed. She complained I was violating her copyright, which I disagree with – it’s fair use if it’s for critique. I even offered to put her individual copyright on the post. She complained to my hosting company instead, so to prevent any further problems, this one is no longer a direct quote; I’m paraphrasing.)

I didn’t enjoy the bad baby names pages because the first one I saw was D’Artagnan, which is the name of my son. His nickname is “Tag,” so we don’t think the name’s difficult pronunciation is an issue. Most children seem not to notice his unique name, but adults can be rude. When I was a child, many other children had the same name as me, which I didn’t like. I accept not everyone likes my choices of names, but I am upset when I think they are being rude.

My children’s names are Bayne, Quillon, Griffon, and D’Artagnan.

Now I have to interject that it is interesting to hear from someone whose kid’s name (or rather, whose naming of their kid) I’ve poked fun at. And I’m interested to hear further reasons from this writer why she went so far as to give her kids names so different they will never, ever meet anyone with the same name, ever, let alone have to suffer through being Quillon G.

Seriously, if you’re out there, I really want to know how you found these names, what the other candidates were, and how your family and others react to them. What sort of things do they do that are mean, and did you anticipate this, or were you caught off guard?

‘Cause I know I’m just continuing the cycle of meanness, but they sound like houses from Hogwarts to me.

And on the topic of being a Jane R., I once had a class in which there were two Dianas (including me), two Dianes, a Deena, a Dana and a Diandra, out of a class of 30. Seeing as this was gym class, though, I loved it, because it made it hard to keep track of us, so I could disappear for an hour and avoid yet another lifeless game of softball without getting in trouble.

I have come across two names that had me scratching my head recently. One was a bank teller’s name – Sharmonica. Another was the name of a customer – Cherith. Sounds like she has a speech impediment, doesn’t it?

Update! Believe it or not, Cherith is in the Bible. It’s not the name of a person, however, but the name of the brook God commands Elijah to go sit and wait by. (1 Kings 17:3) As he hides there, God sends ravens twice a day to bring him food. After a while, the brook dries up and God tells Elijah to move on to a widow’s house. Then, to add to God’s “Simon Says” game with Elijah, he orders him to go talk to Ahab. Then they outfit the Pequod with mighty harpoons and start seeking the white whale. (OK, I made up that last part.)

LOL…I was wondering if I would find my daughters’ names.
Carolyn
Mama to Avellana
Merryn
Liadan

Reader Kathryn wrote in from Spain after doing the research I was far too lazy to do. In Spanish, Avellana means two things: As a noun, it means “hazlenut.” As a verb, it means “he/it countersinks.”

Those two ideas paint such a wonderful absurdist picture, I’m sure Salvador Dali is somehow behind it.

Thanks for the huge laugh. I’m very pregnant right now and we just discovered that we’re going to have a boy.
My husband now expects me to live up to my promise to name our first boy after his father. (We ducked the bullet twice already with girls).

Our baby is going to be named…Elvio.

It was a huge relief to find that amidst all the other wackily named kids that our poor little boy won’t stand out nearly as much as I feared.

— Erica

I work for head start and we have a pair of twins this year: Pookie Bair (like bear)and Poopsie Dier (like deer) both girls!

A few years ago we had a set of twins who were named: Hunter and Fischer (Fisher) and their last names was Farmer! Ugh!

Yes, but going back to the neolithic era we see Hunter Farmers are more advanced than Hunter Gatherers.

And Pookie and Poopsie. Were there ever two kids who needed Head Start more? I think we should take up a collection for them.

There are so many bad,unusually baby names, but how about naming your baby after a dog? I have relatives who named their two sons Buddy and Buster.

My children’s names are Caitlen Mekare and Arica Ashton. I am pregnant and expecting a boy whose name will be Kai Thomas Orion (I know, you are cringing here!). …

Now to my first daughter’s middle name – and I warn you now this is really twisted if you actually know where the name came from. Personally, I just liked the way the name sounded with her first name – strong, but still feminine. However, the novel it came from was Anne Rice’s “Queen of the Damned”. The character Mekare (mah-CARE) is one of the twins who defeats the queen and at the very end, Mekare kills the queen and eats her, becoming the queen of the damned herself. I know, just plain weird, but it is a pretty name jsut the same! On a side note, my brother has also read the book and is set on the name Akasha if he ever has a daughter – Akasha was the first queen …. so we really must be a twisted lot!

Please feel free to use excerps of this to poke fun at – after all, you can see that I do the same on occasion! What a bad mother I am! LOL

Well if you open the door, it’d be rude not to walk in. (On the other hand, inviting me to give you a hard time about your kids’ names makes it really, really hard to come up with anything. Curse you and your reverse psychology!)

I have one thought, though. DeVille Mekare would be a great character name in some “Tales from the Crypt” style low-budget tale of cliched horror version of Faust. Bonus points if you can get Pacino to do it.