Author Archives: notwithoutmyhandbag

Not a letter today, just a report from the frontlines of fright – Toys R Us.

I was at Toys R Us yesterday looking for parts for my Halloween costume, when I saw a rack of personalized items. You know, pencils, calculators, notebooks, necklaces…all girlie stuff.

Well, whoever makes these things knows the score, because there was gear for Cheyenne, Dakota, Hayley AND Hailey, Mackenzie, Makayla, Michele (as well as Michelle), Meghan AND Meagan AND Megan, and Destiny.

Four observations:

#1. When I was little, you could always find stuff with “Diane” on it, but no Diana at least 50 percent of the time. Now there’s Diana, but no Diane or even Dana.

#2. Kids with weird names are still screwed because of spellings. Imagine the feeling for little Mykenzie or Cheyanne or Destini when they find their name…but just one letter off! (Yeah, welcome to my world, kiddo!….Except my name’s real.)

#3. If I didn’t have this site and know where the trends are going (in a handbasket), I would have thought the buying manager was a) a freaky lady with at least 14 cats she dresses in baby clothes or b) totally and irretrievably insane. Perhaps both.

#4. A glimmer of hope: There’s still stuff for kids named Jane

After I posted the names below in my blog, someone posted a comment with a link to your site. I’ve spent the afternoon here alternating between laughing my head off and screaming in anguish.

Straight from the birth notices of my local paper this week:

Corbin Lee Conlin — I guess they just couldn’t decide on only two (that doesn’t include his last name)

Willow Cassandra, who “joins her sisters, Ebonie and Autumn”

and finally, winner of the Cruelest Parents of the Week award,

Braylon Leith, who “joins his brother, Lake”

-Sunny

A few weeks ago I was reading the Lansing State Journal and came across the birth announcement for a child named Esperanza Marijuana Espinoza. Completely true – I couldn’t make something like that up if I tried.

Aside from the horrible connotations that come with having an illegal narcotic for a middle name, Esperanza Espinoza sounds like one of those verbal exercises used to cure stuttering.

-Abi

I love your site so much, and read it often, so when i saw this name I had to send it in. It’s the new girlfriend of a friend of mine, and he actually had to tell me how it was pronounced. Well, here it is:

Ceallaigh (pronounced Kelly). Keep up the great work!

I’m am taking this class in high school were we get to play with preschoolers and to be like teachers to them. In the preschool class there is a girl named Astarri. My friends and me told our teacher that was a cute name, my teacher asked us if we knew her last name. We all said no. She told us, no joke. Her last name is Night. Her name is Astarri Night, like a starry night.

I know she’s kidding, but I still hate anime
I’m a huge fan of the anime Dragonball Z and I want to name my future children after some of the characters. What do you think of the names: Piccolo, Dende, (for boys) and Bulma (for a girl)?

I also think the name Goku is sooo adorable! Of course I think naming a child Vegeta would be going too far.

-Clover

From a hospital website:

Gianni Carson, born to Meredith and John May 19, 2006

-Jessica

One of the worst last names I have encountered so far belonged to Abdul Shitaway.

In the combo category – I once met a guy called Attila Leinhos (Leinhos is the last name, but still funny since it means “linen pants” (in German)- Hunnish conqueror ready for a night on the town?). Fortunately, he gave me his card instead of telling me his name, and I had a second to get my face back under control before looking up.

I know a family who named their sons Tade and Tido… I am assured these are real names, but still.

Also, a friend of mine is eternally grateful that she and her sister were born girls – they have very reasonable girls’ names, but the boys’ names her parents had picked out were Gernot and Giselher.

As for children suffering from names… I always think of a young woman who gave me an aggressive stare and said in a threatening tone, “but no stupid remarks” when I asked her name. Turns out she was called Scarlett, which isn’t half bad compared to some of the names I’ve seen here – and poor Scarlett was certainly scarred for life.

Sylvia

I once lived in a children’s shelter in Oklahoma City and there were kids named:
McKinley Roosevelt (a girl)
Justin Case
Angelina Angel

-C.

After reading your site for a while (love the new updates) I decided to see for myself what these sites were really like.

Holy cow, no shortage of fish in the ocean!

“What to you think of the name Coyt? I seen it on a reality show last night (Race to the Alter).”

And how’s this for too much effort?

“I have not put the whole thing (only A-I, it is too long. I will post further later.(Haynes, Kytri, Zoeshanne & Jared are family names). Any suggestion or ideas are welcome!

Boys
Alexander James
Abraham Levi
Aharon mn? Pls suggest
Asher Jared
Aramis mn? too much??
Cambell Haynes
Cade Llewellyn
Clancy Haynes
Charles Thomas
Elijah Jared
Harrison James
Isaiah Jared
Isaac Aharon
Ieuan Samuel

Girls
Amarah Kytri
Arabella Rose
Alexandra Elizabeth
Betony Rose
Bronte Mae
Ceilidh Rose
Charlotte Lucinda
Cerys Maree
Eliza Kytri
Elenna Kytri
Eliette Mae
Elliana Rose
Grace Amarah
Hazel Elizabeth
Isabella Zoeshanne
Isabella Rose
Ianthe Rose
Ismaya Maree

Her list of family names are: underwear, some sort of jungle animal, name for conjoined twins? and a teen heartthrob

~Kat