Author Archives: notwithoutmyhandbag

My name is Harper. I’m female. I’ve had 36 years of trying to explain my name, and would like to offer you parents some hindsight now. Please take it — it’s not often one can take advantage of hindsight years before it is needed. Don’t do it. Don’t name your kids Harper, unless you want them to endure an ‘Attack on Pearl Harper’ in the neighborhood pool. Year after year. Or unless you want them to inadvertently memorize the chorus to Jeannie C. Riley’s ‘Harper Valley PTA,’ because lots of clever people will sing that song to your kids, and laugh about it. Don’t do this to your kids, please.

And if you do, please don’t give them yet more last names as middle names. Trust me on this one. As I am married, I now have four last names. All ‘unique and special’ names. And I know exactly what your kids will want to do to you when they ‘grow into’ their ‘unique and special names.’ And it isn’t pretty.

Sincerely,
Harper Gantt Russell (last name)

I just saw your site and have a couple of bad baby names. First, I know this little boy whose first name is Trainer. I just think that’s wrong, but apparently its his mothers maiden name. Also, in college I knew a guy whose parents were big travellers. His name? Paris. And his sister’s? Cairo.

-B.

File under ‘Exceptions’: Mom’s maiden name is fair game for a kid’s first or especially middle name. However, two things – #1. It makes it much easier for someone to commit identity fraud, and #2. Mom’s maiden name might not work so well as a first name. I mean, if she’s a Cooper or Jackson or Simon, you’re good to go. If she’s a Watkins or Klein or Gutierrez-Ramierez – problem.

Birth announcement from Virginia. Note that the grandparents have perfectly normal names, the mother’s name takes a comparatively modest step towards chaos, and the poor young woman jumped off the deep end in naming her baby daughter. (Note also that the baby’s father is identified, but only by his first name.)

DexTina (last name) and Jermaine of Pleasant Hill announce the birth of a daughter, Dae J’Nique Shyreyl (last name), on Nov. 2, 2006, at Halifax Regional Medical Center in Roanoke Rapids…. Maternal grandparents
are Dexter and Edith J. Terry of Pleasant Hill.

Would Shyreyl be pronounced Cheryl?

Yours devotedly,
S

I am so glad I found this site.

Mr (relative) Cesare (Shez-a-rae) and wife Lisa have five children.

**disclaimer, Lisa was 19 by the time she had all five. This is just to let you know where young minds are***

Ceszanae (Shez-za-nae)
Cesare (Shez-a-rae)
Charnae (Char-nay)
Ceszaniah (Shez-za-ni-ah)
Ceszariah (Shez-za-ri-ah)

Thank goodness she is tied up. We told them that was Shez-e-nuff!

A song struck me when I saw this entry:

“I am expecting in November. We were thinking about naming our son Kason. I’ve seen this name only once before (spelled Cason). I loved it then – and then realized that it was the combination of my husband and my name (Kay & Jason). Aside from the fact that friends/realitives may think we are crazy….what do you think about the name Kason for a boy?”

“and the caissons go rolling along”

Over hill, over dale
As we hit the dusty trail,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
In and out, hear them shout,
Counter march and right about,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
Then it’s hi! hi! hee!
In the field artillery,
Shout out your numbers loud and strong,
For where e’er you go,
You will always know
That the Caissons go rolling along.

Great. Their pwecious little dropping will be a box of ammo.

-L.

I have a friend (or, somewhere between acquaintance and friend) who just had a baby. Thankfully, it was a boy. Her girl names were awful – the frontrunner was Starwynn…. (we pointed out that, when you reverse the syllables, it is awfully close to a minivan, but she stuck with it).

She named him Harrison, which (although a little strange) is at least a name. Unfortunately, though, at the last minute she let the ex-boyfriend add _two_ middle names, so now the poor child’s name is Harrison Dante Osiris (last name).

Once again, Dante at least is a name, albeit an old one. and maybe the child will grow up to be a great Italian poet. But Osiris? The Egyptian god of death and the underworld? Plus, the last name starts with an M, so the kid’s initials are H-DOM. which is creepy and reminds me again of that underworld….

-L

My local paper published an article in September about unusual names of local citizens, including “Dayspring Jubilee Devan” and “Song -in-the-Night Sarah Eleanor”

However, far more disturbing is this sidebar feature (which I couldn’t find on the website, but perhaps it is there somewhere) of a sample of unusual names culled from the Lucas County (Ohio) Health Department’s Office of Vital Statistics (and I saved the worst for last.)

Montana Raine
Trinity Faith
A’Miracle
Blessed (what? why not go all the way and make her ‘Blessed Be!’)
Ah’Moni
Camay (maybe her brothers are Dial and Safeguard, with a sister called Irish Spring?)
Somore (everyone wants Somore!)
Lyzerre Unique
Verician Diamondnique Trishaun (alien life form? junk jewelry? Three-he aded Shaun?) And for the worst name I have ever seen bestowed upon an innocent child:

Sexujuan Levon.

Is that an R. Kelly wannabe, or just someone’s tragically unfortunate r endering of Szechuan? Man, that poor kid. Thanks for a great web site!

-Cheryl

I myself am no stranger to the misspelled and misprounced. My mother, a Filipina, named me Cassie Margarita Delinda Yoder.

My father is an American of Mennonite/Amish Swiss-German descent. Hence the last name, YODER. MARGARITA is fairly straight forward; easily pronounced and a saint’s name to boot. DELINDA my mom probably made up in the florid way Filipinos have with names.

And CASSIE? Easy, right? But wait! Not everything is as it seems—CASSIE is not pronounced CASSIE, but CASEY!!

WHY??? WHY WHY WHY? I understand English was not my mother’s first language, but why did my dad let her put CASSIE on the birth certificate for CASEY???????? He has no reasonable explanation for me, probably because there isn’t one. I’ve suffered through 21 years of misspelled and misprounced, and I’m sick of it. I didn’t grow up with my mother in my life, so it seems silly for me to grin and bear it namewise for a woman I barely know.

Suffice it to say that when I marry in June I will be doing a major name overhaul. I will become Casey Yoder (fiance’s last name.)

Yours in namedom,
Cassie/Casey/KC/Kacie/Casie/Casee/Kasey/Kassee/etc

I’m not sure if you need a user account to access posts at ivillage or not, so I’ll copy it here (along with the link):

“Subject: DH nixed 8 out of 13 names on my list!!

We had names for #1 & #2 picked out early on, this one has been so difficult, dh is only coming up with names that aren’t my style like Martin, Raymond – sorry, but not my style.

I have been searching and searching, presented my latest list last night of: Cade, Caden, Grant, Karsten, Keegan, Logan, Reece, Roark and Rowen for a boy.

Alyssa, Grace, Selah and Teghan for a girl.

He now has it narrowed down to Grant, Logan or Roark for a boy and Alyssa or Grace for a girl.

Logan has become a unisex name, so I’d rather that only be a middle name, Roark is kind of hard to say, I’m worried people will get confused, Alyssa has become so popular, I liked Grace for a middle name to something.

Nothing goes together – are we ever going to find another name to go with our boys?

– (normal name), mom to Ryan Kyler (3) and Kane Riley (21 mos) and due 1/20”

Found last week:

Kodiak Bay.

I wish I were kidding.

-F