Why Role-Players Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Breed.

Joey, an old junior-high friend of mine, became a mother at age 19. Now, Joey’s full name is Joaleane (instead of the random ‘y,’ it’s the attack of the random ‘a’), so you’d think she’d know a thing or two about bad baby names. But no. Joey named her baby after her Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying character and her favorite movie character.

Joey’s little girl is named Kailis (pronounced KAY-liss) Trinity.

Star Trek fans out there are snickering already. Let me explain why:

On Star Trek, the name of the Klingons’ God is Kahless–also pronounced KAY-liss. Joey, who only watched Star Trek back in junior high (and never paid that much attention anyway), couldn’t figure out why the guys at the local RPG/comic store kept laughing and asking her if she was a Star Trek fan every time she’d mention her daughter’s name. When I finally informed her that she’d named her daughter the Klingon equivalent of “Jesus,” she just stared at me for five minutes and then groaned, “I am a terrible mother, aren’t I?”

Moral of the story: Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be roleplayers.

–Amanda