Tag Archives: letters

I first wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed perusing your Bad Baby Names site. I was a high school teacher for 15 years, and have certainly seen my share of interesting names. I noticed an interesting trend: the more upwardly mobile families often gave their children family names as first names. I’ve had students whose given names were Palmer, Parker, Heffner, and McDonald.

The worst name I’ve ever personally come across, however, was when I was working in a government office a few years ago. One of the young ladies who worked there had a roommate named Turdetta. From time to time I answered the phone when she called, and having to take a message without cracking up was very difficult, indeed!

-C.M.

I went to school with a girl named Dawn Boner… we called her “The morning wood”

I worked with a girl who named her first born Summer Dawn. Don’t know about you, but that sounds like a douche to me!

-Stacey

When I was younger I used to take dance lessons at a place where two sisters also took lessons. They may have been twins, but I can’t quite remember. Candace and Tiffany were their names (nothing bad yet) and Apple was their last names. You guessed it – they went by Candy and Taffy Apple. Candace Apple is actually a Real Estate agent now I think, but she goes by Candace, not Candy.

Another true story. I was at a Roses store in my hometown a few years ago and I was writing a check. The check-out girl looked at my name (Rosalind – named after Shakespeare’s heroine in As You Like It) and commented on how pretty she thought it was. I thanked her and glanced at her nametag to see if I could return the compliment. Much to my surprise, her name was Lasagna. No, really. Like the Italian dinner entree. I smiled and left the store.

-Roz

My parents were pretty good with first names since we have such a peculiar last name – Hamburger (yes, just like the food but you’d be surprised at how many spellings people can come up with – well, maybe not). We got tons of prank calls asking for “fries with that”. My mother specifically named my sister Mary Patricia even though she liked “Patricia” so it wouldn’t be pointed out during role call (“Hamburger, Patricia” = Hamburger Patty) and shockingly, my sister, who goes by Tricia, was not teased in this way until she went to college last year. I’m a victim of the common name-uncommon spelling trend – Karin Elisabeth – do you know how many pronunciations there are for this? I don’t even bother to correct the spelling any more unless it’s on a legal document.

Anyway, it’s the series of last names “married into” that makes it so funny. Obviously, my dad’s family name is Hamburger. His older sister married a Loignon (french for onion), his baby sister married a Bull and he married a Cowherd – that’s right, my mom went from Cowherd to Hamburger.

-Karin

My brother wanted to name their son Brock and his wife wanted the middle name after her father…….Lee. My nephew would be named Brock Lee. She did not see anything wrong with this as ” he wouldn’t have to tell everyone his middle name”, yeah and the first time a teacher reads roll call it will follow him through his scholastic career!

-C

I loved your site! Many laughs with my husband reading beside me. I thought I’d send you a few.

My grandmother and grandfather were crazed when it came to baby names.

My mother and my two aunts are (in order of birth):
Lura Lee (No idea what posessed them.)
Rene Chrystelle (Rene pronounced REEN. Apparently they actually knew someone else with this name.)
Geri Lynn (This one is not so bad unless you know that their last name was SPERRY. It has also been a family scandal as Geri was one of my grandfather’s ex-girlfriends!)

YIKES! And oddly enough, my aunt Chris’s (as she is so graciously known!) daughter named her daughter Chrystelle too! Luckily they call her Christy.

Keep up the good work!

Cate

Our last name is Cox… you can imagine the time we had picking out baby names. What fun to find all the names that just won’t work….

Anita
Moira
Holden
Chase

These were some of our funniest ones… Moira was high on my list, for a girl, until we realized how bad our last name really is.

~ Judi

Hi – My great-grandmother’s name was Icie Green. The name of one of her daughters?? Flossie (who is now Flossie David, living in Ozark, Alabama). That’s my grandmother. No one knows where in the heck she got these names – but that side of the family is Georgia/Alabama cracker from way-back, so no surprise, I guess.

Barbara

i came across a birth announcement recently where the parents named their daughter shesperfect (first name) and virtuouspassion (middle name). umm yeah…

-H.

I am a database administrator working with personnel data. …

After analyzing large amounts of names I think that the Dutch, because their language sounds like English, have the funniest names. I think that modern Australian names (they are infatuated with place-names and have their own history of strange words) are pretty warped as well. Some of my all time favorite names (these aren’t babies, they’re young adults):

Bent Strange (Dutch)

Kill Voort (Dutch)

Dern Smrz (Eastern European, note lack of vowels in last name)

Dick Fagley (this is a common name!) also Rick and Mick Fagley in my database.

Arlche (pronounced Alicia and spelled just like that)

Lightwave (pronounced Latweeva)

Lakita Martin (Lockheed Martin? The aerospace company?)

I have 4 people in my database whose first name is LaTrina (is that a ladies Latrine?)

Nafloyd

Tosmo Smoot came in with Blonda Tooms. Neither realized that their names were reversed spellings of each other and they were friends! Tosmo DID tell me that he met an Osmo once.

One of my favorite names is apparently not uncommon in Jamaica: Tardo. Yup, Tardo.

I know a few Australian kids named:

Keagan, Teaghan, Ashy, Twilly, LaRissa (is that Clarissa? oh no it’s not), Hayson (Hey Son!), Killen (Killing?) and Still. Still was supposed to mean something like “Stoic” in Australian English but I am reminded of the liquor still.

-D