Category: Bad Baby Names

scooblover sends in this news item:

Sheen and Richards Too Old-Fashioned for Baby

Expecting parents Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have decided to buck the Hollywood trend of fancy names, by giving their child an old-fashioned moniker. The screen stars, who are expecting their first child together early next spring, have opted against anything too flashy for their new arrival, because they don’t want their offspring to resent them when he or she gets older. Sheen says, “I think we’re gonna go a little old-fashioned and try to keep it simple. Like for boys, Jack and Bob, and for a girl like Sue or Mary. I just think parents don’t think 20 years ahead when they name their kid: ‘This is my son Shalamar.’ It becomes a curse for the child. It’s terrible.”

(PS – They named their two daughters Sam and Lola.]

I love your website. I laughed so hard! We have some interesting names in our family. I just wondered what you thought of these.

My son was the first grandchild, his name is Sharod (sounds like Jared). [middle name Blaine]. …

I am now expecting … If it is a girl, she will be AuraLia and if we have a boy it will be Timothy Burke.

My cousin has a boy, Tacoma and a girl, Taigely.

Another cousin named her daughter Mesa Miranda. Her and her husband are both cops.

My husband has a cousin named Memory.

I just thought I would send them in. Keep the laughs coming. You are great!

Amy

I love your site! I’ve known a few people with bad names:

Lloyd Ann (she went by L.A.) – guess even after she was born, they STILL weren’t sure if they had a boy or girl.

Kael (if there had been a twin sister, would she have been Lettus?). I thought surely you would only give a sweet baby such an awful name if Kael was a rich, childless, sickly uncle whom you hoped would leave everything to your son. Nope – according to the dad, the mom is a huge fan of college sports, and Kael was some great wrestling athlete in Iowa whom she admired.

Uh-huh. Paternity test, anyone?

Benjamin O’Bannon – doesn’t seem like a bad name? His parents called him Jamin. The only possible career path for this child is DJ.

Ariel (Ahr-ee-ELL) – named after the Little Mermaid, but pronounced the way the crab in the movie says it. It was a toss-up for the Mom between Ariel and Aurora (another Disney princess character). Claaaassy. The one who hates the name the most? The step mom – she’s afraid everyone will think she’s the one who names kids after cartoon characters!

-J.

I work as a social worker, and I see a LOT of bad ones. I’ve had Crystal (special because mom said it was after the crystal meth she used while pregnant), LaPrecious Barbie, and Unique (guess that other Unique you listed isn’t). My all time favorite, though… Randazzle. Randazzle is a boy and goes by Randy.

-Libby

i live in florida, which sometimes seems to be the capital of made up and asinine names. over the years i’ve gone to school with a shaboz, a latoddrea, a wolf, a brick, a cleao, a chase, three latorias and a shenita mann. among others. i am so glad i’m headed up north in the fall!

Here’s a name for you:

Brock Star Kronitz.

And no, there was no drugs involved – it was a ‘natural’ birth.

– A.

I know of a man who prides himself, however undeservedly, on, well, a certain machismo. Supposedly in keeping with this image, he named his son Blade. While this is just wrong in more ways than a google plex has zeros, I believe that “Blade” is frequently the title of a periodical for the gay community. Not, as we all know, that there’s anything wrong with that, but it rather contradicts the whole macho, straight guy image.

To make matter worse, the dad recently bought an H2. Where does one even start about Blade in the Hummer?

Tim

I used to work at an answering service in Victoria, Canada. I’d occasionally jot down the names that struck my fancy:

Velvet Warrior
Honey Palm
Harry Palm
Beryl Bigcanoe
Rod Dick
Ruby Diamond
Ruby Black

In my current job, I’ve come upon the names –
Misty Wood
April Field
Venus Piano
Winsome
Paisley
Fantasia

Cheers,
From an Elizabeth Jane (thanks mum! thanks dad!)

This may seem a little unbelievable but I have a (relative) who is about 18 now. A recent Graduate of Job Corps in Gadsden, AL. Her name is Krystal Klear Peebles. That is the weirdest name that I have ever come across.

I was thinking about your site this morning for some reason, and remembered meeting a girl named BLUEBERRY.

I met Blueberry in Chicago at a media event (she’s an editor of Handy magazine), and when she introduced herself, I literally BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. My face turned beet red when I realized that she was not kidding. She’s such a sweet girl, too….and so pretty. I swear if she gains weight, and wears blue….well, I cannot be held responsible for others’ reactions. Hope you add it to your list!