Category: Bad Baby Names

I have a few for you.

I went to school with a girl named Rose Plant.

I worked with a guy named Richard O’Shea. Do not EVER call him Rick.

I went to school with a boy named Triste Coffin (sad coffin).

My brother went to school with a boy named Ura Jauregi, who was called “You’re a Doggie” quite often.

A little boy across the street was named Rombom.

All of these children grew up and are now adults…

Best,

-Greta

Just stumbled upon these pages, and I love ’em– and wish to submit a few of my own.

1) Various classmates of mine with the names of Antwanette, Macmillan, Radford, Kremer, Hayden, Yemmi, Azizi, Viridiana, Cheree, Wyatt, Jesus (for a girl) Shanty, and my personal favorite, Cleveland A. Motley IV.

2) a cousin of mine named Ella Cotton. Although Cotton is a old family name of ours, we can’t help but think of toilet paper when we hear it.

3) my sister in law’s family are very, very Catholic, and her parents gave all their children the middle name of “Mary”. Which, although it goes nicely with Catherine and Bernadette, doesn’t fit quite so well with John, Michael, and Peter.

4) My grandfather was named ‘Beverly’, and my own father named after the degenerate son of the next-door neighbour that my grandparents barely knew.

5) my mother used to work in an insurance office in Eastern Kentucky, and came across twins named “Positive” and “Wasserman”. It’s bad enough to name your children after a syphilis test– but why then would you name one ‘positive’?!?

-Susana

Ok, so are there ANY names you actually like? If so, which ones?

Interested to see if you can come up with something really funnily sarcastic about my 2:

Sandrine Leïlou (Sandrine named for her uncle in a roundabout kind of way, it being a short form of Alexandria and his name is Alexander).

Nyssa Winter (born at the beginning of winter).

Have fun!

Fiona

I get a lot of e-mails from people sending in bad names asking, “Do these parents WANT their kids to be beaten up?” According to Fiona, yes. Yes, they do.

I stumbled across your bad baby name site and got a big kick out of it. I wanted to tell you that my boyfriend’s sister named her son Sahvere Kyree (her own name is Kylee King)

Also, an ex-friend of mine named her daughter Daisy Elizabeth Nadine Morgan Riff (last name).

-A

I almost named my future child Nicholas (last name Cutler). I thought harder after reading your site and realized that Nick Cutler sounds like some sort of after-shave product. Now the boy has no name. Thanks a lot.

– Capt. Cutler, CentCom

I first wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed perusing your Bad Baby Names site. I was a high school teacher for 15 years, and have certainly seen my share of interesting names. I noticed an interesting trend: the more upwardly mobile families often gave their children family names as first names. I’ve had students whose given names were Palmer, Parker, Heffner, and McDonald.

The worst name I’ve ever personally come across, however, was when I was working in a government office a few years ago. One of the young ladies who worked there had a roommate named Turdetta. From time to time I answered the phone when she called, and having to take a message without cracking up was very difficult, indeed!

-C.M.

There was a guy at my high school (Willingboro HS – Willingboro, NJ – 1987) who was saddled with “Notlef Lefnot Felton”. It’s pronounced “not-leaf leaf-not”. The guy went through school called “Left Nut”. Unfortunately, he hasn’t registered at classmates.com and I couldn’t google him so I can’t provide proof.

On the horrible spellings front, I know someone named “Jewdypthe Phaiye” (Judith Fay). Two weeks after her birth, her parents came to their senses and amended her birth certificate to the regular spelling.

Finally, I know a “Richard Doctor”. He works for a hospital and goes by “Dick”. I can vouch for this because he’s my dad!

– Julie

When I was younger I used to take dance lessons at a place where two sisters also took lessons. They may have been twins, but I can’t quite remember. Candace and Tiffany were their names (nothing bad yet) and Apple was their last names. You guessed it – they went by Candy and Taffy Apple. Candace Apple is actually a Real Estate agent now I think, but she goes by Candace, not Candy.

Another true story. I was at a Roses store in my hometown a few years ago and I was writing a check. The check-out girl looked at my name (Rosalind – named after Shakespeare’s heroine in As You Like It) and commented on how pretty she thought it was. I thanked her and glanced at her nametag to see if I could return the compliment. Much to my surprise, her name was Lasagna. No, really. Like the Italian dinner entree. I smiled and left the store.

-Roz

I went to school with a girl named Dawn Boner… we called her “The morning wood”

I worked with a girl who named her first born Summer Dawn. Don’t know about you, but that sounds like a douche to me!

-Stacey

My brother wanted to name their son Brock and his wife wanted the middle name after her father…….Lee. My nephew would be named Brock Lee. She did not see anything wrong with this as ” he wouldn’t have to tell everyone his middle name”, yeah and the first time a teacher reads roll call it will follow him through his scholastic career!

-C