Category: Bad Baby Names

I actually had a friend in high school whose name was Molly Mullallay.

And while I like my name, Tucker, I got a lot of the “name game”played with my name.

-T.

My girlfriend and I love your “awful baby name” pages. Sadly, I have to report that my sister done named her kid
“Austin.” Sigh.

Anyhow, I was poring through the pages and came across the name Mason Rex on your site and, being an eagle-eyed reader of superhero comics, well… Rex Mason is the real name of a chap named Metamorpho, the Element Man! This malnamer got backwards! Sheesh!

-M.

I forgot this one!

At the airport branch of the USPS in Charlotte, NC there is a counter clerk there with the name Sugar Love.

-Jane

I went to college with a girl named Amanda Bohn (pronounced Bone).

-S.

Real names. Real People.

An acquaintance gave her son the middle name Grasan, after her husband’s brother Grant and sister Sancee.

Kinnamon, ShaKashua ShaFae, Johnny Cowboy, and Navar.

Montanna (note the extra n, which makes it unique!), Precious (a big, tough-looking WalMart cashier), Velvee (short for Velveeta?), Jakayla, and Milennia.

Oshianaye (I have no idea how to pronounce this one), Princist, Denaysia, Helicia, Rayquan (boy), and Mashaunna.

Page Turner (yes, real kid, real name, first and last), Ashton (girl), twin girls DeSheila and DeShalla, and Sutherland (girl).

-P.

I worked at a mortgage company some time ago and came across the name of a customer:

Manly Eaton Cox.

I really really hope this guy’s a porno star that changed his name and bought a house.

-J.

My cousin’s first son is named Terra, as in the Earth. Since the couple is not married, they wanted to give Terra the mother’s last name (Rist). Thankfully, someone pointed out that living life as “Terra Rist” would be a bad idea (especially after 9/11). He has his father’s last name (Fleischer).

-D.

My father is a High School teacher, and in the 70’s he taught a family of kids with the last name McLean (pronounced MacLane) The children were, unfortunately, named Duane, Shane, Wayne and Lorraine.

*sigh*

My only experience with the dreaded yuppy name was a duo of sisters named Pepper and Brie, known more commonly to almost everyone as “Cheesy” and “Sneezy”.

I also just wanted to mention that here in Australia, the only time I hear the names Kayla, Jayden or Brayden they are being shrieked at children being dragged through a parking lot. There also seems to be a trend of apparently naming children after soap characters… Storm, Ridge, Tayla, Alexis etc. Usually people seemingly destined for the most singularly un-glamourous lives imaginable.

A friend of a friend named her daughter Ampersand, just because she said she thought it sounded really purty. O. K.

-L.

Here is my contribution. In 1976, my first school counseling job was at a middle school in Tucson. In my caseload was a seventh grade girl named Rotunda. And was she, um, large, you might ask? Well yes, she was. What in the name of God were her parents thinking?

-L.

My (relative or friend) plays lacrosse for a very yuppie private high school. Two of his teammates are “Amos” (which always makes me think of ‘Famous Amos’ cookies) and “”Anis” (I only saw it on the roster- I’ll leave the pronouncing to you!).

K.