Author Archives: notwithoutmyhandbag

In the vein of cruel names: I know of a family (the Knights) who have a son named “Frosty Winter” and a daughter “Starry Starry.” Yes, the parents were teenagers during the ’60s. Also, there’s a guy locally here named “Hunter Trapper Fischer.” Poor chap.

-AJ

I work in a college admissions office, and we get some very odd names.

Some of the worst:

Wang Dong (but he was Chinese, so we can give him a pass.)
Anita Bush
Dick Bush
John Jacob Smith (no Jingleheimer, sadly)
Sparkle Berry
Anita Weiner
Harry (okay, Harold) Bush
My Ly

-Stacey

Hi, I just love this site it’s hilarious! I noticed in Chapter 6 a woman wanted to name her child Mercedes because it means Virgin Mary in Latin. Well, maybe it means Virgin Mary in Spanish but in Latin it actually means: to pay, recompense, hire, salary, reward; rent, price; bribe.

I just thought she should really research her names first.

-Lynn

Actually, and I’m surprised no one’s commented on this yet, ‘Mercedes’ means ‘mercies,’ not necessarily the Virgin Mary (Our Lady of Mercy – Nuestra Señora de las Mercedes) specifically. Baby name sites get this wrong constantly.

Seen on the “thanks” page of Amy Tan’s “The Hundred Secret Senses”: Logan and Linden Berry.

-Jess

Examples from my friends and family.

Herkimur Horatio (my brother) Herk is a blackbelt, I wonder what made him learn to fight?

Eian John Bartmess (They named him Eian because it means John in some language, basically they named him John John).

-Curtis

Your site reminded me of some names from my ghettofab high school. There was a January, Pleschette (inspired by the last name of the 70s actress), and a girl named Ilahkcherriessence. All one word. I don’t know how they managed to fit that in the yearbook year after year.

One of my closest friends in high school was a girl name Patryc N’Koul (pronounced Patrice Nicole). My mom’s a high school teacher in DC and about 10 years ago she had a male student named Silky. She also had a student named Mussolini. I kid you not.

Oh and here’s one close to my heart. My grandmother is named Korea. Just like the East Asian nation. Her father gave all her siblings names that started with K. I don’t know how he ran out of girls names with the letter K after only one other daughter but hey…what are you gonna do? It was 1920 and it’s my grandma. I can’t crack on her too much.

-K. (not Korea, though!)

When I was in high school, my Journalism teacher’s last name was Penny. She named her daughter “Precious Penny”. How’s that for pretentiousness? Of course, I suppose it COULD have been worse. She could have named her daughter “Worthless”.

-M

I have a few for you.

I went to school with a girl named Rose Plant.

I worked with a guy named Richard O’Shea. Do not EVER call him Rick.

I went to school with a boy named Triste Coffin (sad coffin).

My brother went to school with a boy named Ura Jauregi, who was called “You’re a Doggie” quite often.

A little boy across the street was named Rombom.

All of these children grew up and are now adults…

Best,

-Greta

Just stumbled upon these pages, and I love ’em– and wish to submit a few of my own.

1) Various classmates of mine with the names of Antwanette, Macmillan, Radford, Kremer, Hayden, Yemmi, Azizi, Viridiana, Cheree, Wyatt, Jesus (for a girl) Shanty, and my personal favorite, Cleveland A. Motley IV.

2) a cousin of mine named Ella Cotton. Although Cotton is a old family name of ours, we can’t help but think of toilet paper when we hear it.

3) my sister in law’s family are very, very Catholic, and her parents gave all their children the middle name of “Mary”. Which, although it goes nicely with Catherine and Bernadette, doesn’t fit quite so well with John, Michael, and Peter.

4) My grandfather was named ‘Beverly’, and my own father named after the degenerate son of the next-door neighbour that my grandparents barely knew.

5) my mother used to work in an insurance office in Eastern Kentucky, and came across twins named “Positive” and “Wasserman”. It’s bad enough to name your children after a syphilis test– but why then would you name one ‘positive’?!?

-Susana

Ok, so are there ANY names you actually like? If so, which ones?

Interested to see if you can come up with something really funnily sarcastic about my 2:

Sandrine Leïlou (Sandrine named for her uncle in a roundabout kind of way, it being a short form of Alexandria and his name is Alexander).

Nyssa Winter (born at the beginning of winter).

Have fun!

Fiona

I get a lot of e-mails from people sending in bad names asking, “Do these parents WANT their kids to be beaten up?” According to Fiona, yes. Yes, they do.