Author Archives: notwithoutmyhandbag

I have some additions to weird, but real names:

My hairdresser is Nick Romeo. He has a sister Juliette. I went to school with a Tyker Fagg and a Dork Alyhadoian. I had a client by the name of Richard Ichyfish. I had a sales rep named Bernadette Skubly-Butts (I kept her business card).

Keep up the good work!

-S.

Having recently spent some time on baby naming message boards and having had the same reaction as you, I really appreciated your site. I even showed my husband some of the names in the hopes that he wouldn’t think the names I was suggesting were so strange (I like real zingers like Maxwell or Henry) It didn’t help. Anyway, here are a few odd-ball names I’ve seen. They are all people that either my husband or I have personally met so unless they gave a fake name I can attest that they are all real. Enjoy!

Years ago I worked at the credit desk of a retail chain. One of my duties was to take in credit card applications, so I saw some interesting names. The one that stands out the most was a young woman named Holly whose birthday was December 25th. A bit too cutesy for my taste, but not a terrible name in and of itself. But get this… her last name was Berry. Holly Berry, born on Christmas day. The kicker? Berry was her married name! It has been a few years and I have to admit her last name may have actually been Barry, but either way, if I were Mrs. Berry I would NOT have taken my husband’s name.

Part of that same job involved occasionally paging applicants back to the credit desk. There were a few people in the department who enjoyed trying to trick the switchboard operator into paging false, humorous names (a la Bart Simpson). One of their favorites was Phil McCracken… until one day we had a guy who really was named Phil McCracken. Of course the operator, now wise to the gag names, refused to page him.

This one falls under the heading of “A Perfectly Good Name But an Odd Choice Given the Circumstances”. I know a wonderful young woman named Emily. Her mother is Japanese. Emily’s family lived in Japan the first few years of her life, so she has close ties with that part of her heritage. She is currently spending a year there working as an English teacher. She recently sent us photos of her birthday party with her grandparents, aunts, etc. What did the cake say? “Happy Birthday Emiri”. It never occurred to me before, but let’s think about this. Emily is a fine name, but an odd choice for a girl of Japanese descent considering the English “L” sound doesn’t exist in the Japanese language. Why would someone give a child a name that is virtually unpronounceable to half her family? And, her sister’s name is Paula. They did it twice.

Maybe you can help me. I’ve always wondered… is Seren (yes, pronounced like the nerve gas) an actual name? I used to know a girl named Seren and thought it was one of the weirdest names I’d ever heard… until I found your site of course.

I know a woman named Jennifer Marie. Or at least she thought that was her name until one day she obtained a copy of her birth certificate. Turns out that legally her name is Jennifer Maire. Don’t you wish those birth certificate forms had a spell check?

My friend’s sister named her little girl Madysen. It is pronounced Madison, not ma-DICE-in, as any reasonable person would first guess. As if that weren’t bad enough, where do you suppose they live? Madison, WI. If ever there was a place that should be spared the scourge of the Madisons, you’d think it would be in a city of the same name. Apparently not. But people, please for the love of God, if you adore your city so much that you feel compelled to name your child after it, at least spell it right!!!

And finally, did you know there is a whole branch of caconomenology dedicated to Unfortunate Business Names? I’ll paraphrase a snippet of conversation my husband had when writing up a sale for a small contracting company.”Name?”” Goodeno. Wait, better put it under the business name. Goodeno Builders.””Goodeno? Could you spell that, please?””G-O-O-D-E-N-O-U-G-H” (insert my husband trying to suppress fits of hysterical laughter)I’m all for naming the family business after the family, but at some point common sense must prevail. Wouldn’t you love to write slogans for these guys? Good Enough Builders: When the best just isn’t necessary. Good Enough Builders: Half-assed is the only assed we know.

-Denise

My mother named me after the Falcon Crest TV star Ana-Alicia. She replaced some of the letters and came up with Alisea(Ah-lee-see-ah). It just so happens that Alisea(Ah-lay-zay-ah) is the Spanish version of Alice. And during my entire school life, no one could ever say my name correctly on the first try. I’d have to constantly reminded people how to pronounce it, and even if I did, they’d spell it wrong too! Alisha, Alice, Elissa, Alyssa, Alise, Alicia, I even got Elyiseah once. I’d given up in middle school and told everyone to call me Dani (my middle name is Danielle.)

When my younger brother was in first grade, there was a child in his class named Star Queen Poindexter. Not only was she not very smart, but kids teased her for being ugly (“unqueenlike”).

My fiance Marvin and I are trying to decided on our first born’s name. We really want a girl, especially him. So we looked through the alphabet and saw that the letter “G” was inbetween the first letters of our first names (A-Alisea; M-Marvin), and I love the name Madison. Since we both come from Hispanic-African American descent, we wanted something Spanish for our daughter. We also wanted something biblical and of God. So we came up with Genesis Madison Adriana (or Madi for short). What do you think?

-A

OK…I hate to admit any relationship to this one…but my (relative)’s daughter is named (I PROMISE I’m spelling this the way her mom does): Shaniquequa. Supposed to be pronounced like that old “hooker” name: Shaniqua. But it looks like “Shan eek qua qua.” Middle name Leneice. Go figure.

-D.

I was recently at the store with my toddler. Upon hearing me speaking to my daughter, the woman (no, girl) said, “My daughter has the same name. How do you spell it?” I responded that it was the traditional spelling. She then told me that they spelled it ZOWEE. I could tell she expected me to comment on the adorable and unique alternate form they had crafted. All I could say was, “Oh.” I didn’t verbalize what was really in my head: Our daughters do not have the same name. While my Zoe is taken from the Greek, meaning life, and is very fitting for our one and only, her daughter is a sound effect from the 1960’s television version of Batman.

-Tricia

I love your website and came across your call for anyone knowing a Velveeta. I went to Highschool with a woman named Velveeta Germany in 1973. She’s in my highschool annual.

Love the website!

-T

I just have to tell you about the children of an acquaintance of mine: Indigo (boy), Jadziah (girl) and Atreyu (boy). I’ve been too afraid to ask what their middle names are. Their mother’s last name is Moonstone (gosh, you wouldn’t be Wiccan or anything, would you?).

Please don’t publish my letter on your site – Ms. Moonstone holds a place of honor in my community, and I would be in trouble if she knew how awful I think her kids’ names are. But I know I’m not the only one.

-(name withheld, so if you’ve got a problem, Ms. Moonstone, you can cram it. It’s called Free Speech.)

I teach school and run across many unsual names…I wont say where in Minnesota….last year I had a student in my class. Her father’s name was Germaine and her mother’s name was Shanta (pronounced Shawn-Tay) the little girls name is Germisha and her sister’s name is Shamaine!

My family attends church with a family whose last name is Berning and the father’s name is Les, my (relative) a retired fire fighter always says they could have really used him on the fire department. (Les Berning)

(Someone else nearby) had parents who must not have been thinking when they named him and hyphenated their last names to create his… his name is Trevor Mangles-Dick.

-W

I keep remembering bad names! Titus Beaver in KS. Albee Damm in Colorado. I come across these names in my work, I work for a company in community corrections and the names come in daily.

-H.

I dread to think what would happen if parents got hold of the passenger listing of the Mayflower or other such voyages and decided to make a tribute. Such gems as Oceanus and Damaris Hopkins, Humility Cooper, Wrestling Brewster and Remember Allerton are nearly destined to make a comeback in the present climate of “unique” baby names.

-E