From last week’s paper:

“A Mill Valley man who was arrested after a standoff at his home pleaded innocent Thursday to six felony counts, including assault with a firearm.

Kelso Park Martinis, 38, was arrested May 12 after a woman told police station that her husband had pointed a shotgun at her head.

The woman told police her husband owned numerous guns, had been drinking and had told her to kill him.”

Ah, but WHAT had he been drinking? We may never know. Perhaps it was a dry drink – shaken, not stirred – enjoyed at a tres chic oak paneled hotel piano bar in Midtown Manhattan. No, that’s just his name. So I guess it was something else.