This is why I fear reading the paper in June: Graduation/celebration stories. Here’s the first name of every kid mentioned in one story in yesterday’s paper, ages 8-12. I’m including the non-awful ones so you can see the percentages of good to bad to ugly for yourself.

Good:
Rebecca
Elizabeth
Kelly

Bad:
Tori
Tucker

Ugly:
Stephany
Daryn

Brain-melty:
Shaylin
Kyleigh