Category: Bad Baby Names

what about the name skylar or raven?

Thanks, 14-year-old-Goth-girl!

In a few months I’m going to be a new mom, and we know its a girl. My dh and I have been discussing names lately (we already have six children: Jack Dominick, Rose Solenne, Monroe Charlize, Ophelia Eden, Heart Scarlett, Pascal Sebastien) and our favorites right now are:

Okay, I think this lady’s lying. No two people could contain between them enough evil to conceive both of this many children and this many f’ed up names. Even a godless universe contains more rhyme and reason.

Phoenix (she was conceived in Phoenix)
Aedin
Cielle (see-ell)
Gracelyn
Maxime (max-eem)
Jasmine

These people, being either liars, new age cultists, schizophrenic Dungeons and Dragons players, Mormons, or all four, make most commentary on those preposterous names moot. However:

Every kid thinks the idea their parents have sex is nasty. So why oh why would you want to remind them of it every single time someone calls their name?

I mean, how ’bout some truth in advertising, here! Name her Ramblerbackseat.

Please, someone, HELP! My husband and I are having a horrible dilemma on names. For girls, I like Brielle, Ashlynn, Brooklynn, and Madelyn, and he likes TIFFANY. He refuses to bend!! I don’t really mind it, but it was never one of my favorites. What do you think of Tiffany??

She’s okay, but Debbie Gibson could write her own songs.

For a boy, we have even a bigger problem. Every boy in his family, including all of the nephews, has a name that starts with R. ! I think Robert is too boring, and Riley is turning more and more into a girl’s name.I like Rylan (pronounced ry-lin) but my husband says it sounds too feminine. What do you think about that, too?

Gee, how did he get the idea that “ry-lin” was a girl’s name after fighting over Ashlynn, Brooklynn and Madelyn? (Question: When are these folks going to really push the envelope and put a THIRD n to the end of a name for no reason?)

We’d kind of like something that sounds good with Mikayla (our 3-year-old).

Dear God, they’re tailoring them into box sets!

My husband and I were once told that we should “pray for a name.” That in the Biblical times God named many people and still would today if asked. We had a little girl and were very surprised at the name that came to us when she was born and we have been very happy with it ever since. We are doing the same with our baby that’s due in October.

Did the fortune cookie slip with the name come before or after the placenta?

These happy parents are hoping for a little brother for their baby, Default Marie.

my boyfriend and i love the name Jayln (Jay-Lynn) but we dont know how to spell it.. there are a few ways we like but we dont know which we like more.. what do you think?

JaeLynne (or JayLinne)
Jalyn
Jayln
Jaylyn
Jalynne

How ’bout Ghei-llenn? Juay-limn? Q-bert?

DAKOTA BEAR for a boy.

Only if your last name’s Rabinowitz.

I named my daughter Madyson Caite and I regret doing that because every little girl in the last 3 or 4 years has been named Madison. Everyone complements it, but I still hate it. I would rather call her Caite (Kate) but am not sure. Please, everyone, pick something normal for your child. If you choose something different and unique, please don’t keep following the trends of Madisons, and Mackenzies, and Taylors, and Destinys. This is getting old.

Oh, you think it’s getting old? I’m sure little Madyson isn’t going to find it old…nooooo. Hindsight’s a bitch, ain’t it?

For a girl Tierrainney Mackanzie [last name]
for a boy Tristin Gabrielle Reese [last name]

Oh yeah. Every boy wants Gabrielle as a middle name. And that girl’s name could use a few more syllables. Hell, if you’re going to give your kid a cool super-villain name like Tyranny, spell it right!

When we last left the Random Letters, they were trying to name their twin girls, probably produced through Evil Science Somehow Involving Oprah.

Jayln Marie
Ammie Lynne
Kesleigh Abigail
Cydnee Elizabeth
McKayla Mercy
Yes. Please. Mercy.

Brinley Grace
Rebekah Lynne
Ashlee Hope
Makenna Faith
Mackenzie Susan
Susan? Couldn’t it at least be Soosynn?

Nikola Kate
Quinn Allyse (or Elise)
Madaline Sarai (not sara)
kaitlyne Nicole
Tayler Emmaleigh
Quinn Allyse, Medycyn Womyn!

Savannah Jaclyn(we really like that one)
Skylar Jane
Jothan Riley (Joe-than)
Jothan Musk, for a man or a woman

McKaty Alyson
Blayre Michelle
Scarlette Brooke
Blayre, rhymes with Larry. Scarlette: a small Scarl.