One of the worst last names I have encountered so far belonged to Abdul Shitaway.

In the combo category – I once met a guy called Attila Leinhos (Leinhos is the last name, but still funny since it means “linen pants” (in German)- Hunnish conqueror ready for a night on the town?). Fortunately, he gave me his card instead of telling me his name, and I had a second to get my face back under control before looking up.

I know a family who named their sons Tade and Tido… I am assured these are real names, but still.

Also, a friend of mine is eternally grateful that she and her sister were born girls – they have very reasonable girls’ names, but the boys’ names her parents had picked out were Gernot and Giselher.

As for children suffering from names… I always think of a young woman who gave me an aggressive stare and said in a threatening tone, “but no stupid remarks” when I asked her name. Turns out she was called Scarlett, which isn’t half bad compared to some of the names I’ve seen here – and poor Scarlett was certainly scarred for life.

Sylvia