My mothers name is Stella. Her mother was Gertrude. Mom’s grandmother was Sylvia. Feel free to use any of these family heirlooms.

“We decided to name her Gertrude Stella Johnson.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Are those family names?”
“No, they’re the names of some total strangers’ relatives and mean absolutely nothing to us.”
“Oh.”

You just know this lady’s gonna name her kids Ruger and Ashelynn and needed some Yuppie Absolution. What she really needs is a dictionary, to help her with that really, really complicated “heir” part of “heirlooms.”