It's simple. Some parents are just plain crazy. But few are as crazy as many soon-to- be parents, who, wrapped up in the fear and anticipation, the social status and expectations, go just plain mad. Mad as march hares with swollen ankles and morning sickness.

The following is a catalog of naming questions and suggestions posted on several different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001. All entries are left unedited except for length.

As you will see, some parents-to-be have gone so far into the realm of baby-obsession they have lost track of the real, adult world. Their view is so skewed their only concerns are a) making their child "unique" and b) trying to keep the kid from being teased, often with terrible results.

Steel yourself, take a few deep breaths, and read.

Part II: God Wants You to Name the Baby After Him

Part III: Easy to be Scarred

Part IV: Babies or Blotter Acid?

Part V: Big Chief Mucous Stink

Part VI: When You're in Love, the Whole World is Welsh

Part VII: Jesus' Mom is No Saint

Part IX: Bad Baby Names From You!

Part 10.1: More Bad Baby Names From You!
(revised)

Part XI: Even More Bad Baby Names From You
(confirmed sightings edition)!

Part XII: Baby's Got a Bad Bad Combo

Part XIII: Fellow Collectors

Part XIV: Voyage to the Bottom of the BBS